Delicate
by PrettyInPinkGrl
Summary: They continue to get closer at night, in secret. They claim only friendship, but they both know better. Derek doesn’t believe in love, and he’s not ready for a girl like Casey. But Casey is convinced that she can change his mind. DASEY. Chapter 9 up.
1. Chapter One: The Night Starts Here

**A/N:** Hey everyone, I'm new to the Dacey fandom, but not new to fanfiction… I've been doing all kinds for years. I kind of just randomly get inspired to write things, and since I've been watching Life with Derek, I got inspired to write this. I read a few of the stories, but obviously not all of them, so I have no clue if this idea has been done before… hopefully not, I really hope it's unique, but if it's not, let me know.

The whole story will be done by Casey's perspective and it'll kind of be in this narrative conversational storytelling manner, cause that's the style of the story, but no worries, I'll have way more dialogue in the next chapter… just the first chapter is kind of an intro to set up the story.

Anyways! I hope you guys like it! Please do review if you have a chance… I'd really appreciate feedback to let me know if I'm on the right track, and I'll definitely post another chapter soon. Thanks!

Story title _Delicate_ is a song by Damien Rice: it's amazing! Listen to it if you're able to!

Chapter title _The Night Starts Here_ is a song by Stars, and is also a good listen!

**Delicate**

Chapter One: _The Night Starts Here_

The first and most important unspoken rule was that we never discussed "it". This rule was essential in protecting our fragile relationship—if you could even call it that. Non-relationship maybe?

In the beginning, the process would start every night at dinner. Earlier in the day it was like I didn't exist. Or at least the Casey he cared about didn't exist. To tell you the truth, I sometimes felt like two people—but I'm getting ahead of myself here. At dinner we would all sit around the table for a family meal like mom always insisted. That's when the looks would begin. I'm not talking about the standard Derek glare, or look of scorn… or even the gazes of utter boredom which covered his face 90 percent of the time he was forced into the company of his family. I'm talking about real, genuine, emotional, heartfelt… stomach-churning, knee-buckling, heart-racing looks of desire. But not the kind of desire you're thinking of. Not yet at least. Desire for another form of intimacy. But you'll understand what I mean later.

I, of course, would ignore the said glances and look away quickly, stuff some unknown item of food in my mouth, start a topic of conversation with mom or Lizzie, stare at my own feet… anything to get away from that look. Naturally, the same could be said about Derek. Every time I'd look at him—okay, so the actual eating, conversing, and staring at anything but him never really worked for long and my eyes would always return to Derek, as if there was a magnetic pull…so what?! I'm only human!—as I was saying, every time I'd return a glance, he'd look away super fast. A certain advisor of mine has been trying to get me to see things from other people's perspectives (namely Derek's) for ages; you know, put myself in their shoes. Well, maybe it's the same thing for him. Maybe whenever my eyes lock onto Derek in a freakish accidental magnetic way, _I'm_ giving him burning glances that say "I want you". It wouldn't be far from the truth, after all. Do I mean to convey that with a look? Heck no! So perhaps Derek doesn't mean to either.

All I know is that they happen. And they make me feel… well… I can't even describe it, but I think you get the idea from the mindless rambling about a few silly looks. Yeah, I know. I'm pathetic.

I should probably explain what's been going on. Well, each night, after everyone else has gone to bed Derek and I… cuddle. I know, I know. Either you're going "what?! That's insane!" or "Oh… just cuddle? No big deal." But it _is_ a big deal, and there's a very logical explanation for it. Well sort of. I guess. But to understand, I guess I'll have to explain what exactly happens when we…cuddle.

So like I said, it happens every night. And I mean every night, school nights and everything. Each night at around midnight Derek and I meet down in the living room. Whoever's there first—usually him, but sometimes me—turns on the TV and sits there, pretending to be watching it. Well, at least _I_ pretend. Maybe he actually watches TV. I don't know. The other person comes downstairs and sits on the couch, a couple of feet away. Gradually we move closer and closer together, and within minutes my hand is in his, my head is leaning on his shoulder or resting against his chest and I can feel his arms enveloping me, his breath on my face. We would sometimes chat a bit, watch TV, joke around, but mostly we simply sat quietly… just, well… enjoying each other. It sometimes lasted a half an hour, sometimes two hours, but we were always in bed before the rest of the house woke up. It was comforting, relaxing… intimate. I felt like we really connected on a level I had never connected with anyone else. It was at the point where we didn't need words, we just needed each other. I'd always wanted that with someone, and trust me… Derek was the last person I expected to find it with. But you have to understand, when we were alone, Derek was completely different. He was still sort of the same old Derek; confident… well, more like cocky; a bit brash and rude; snarky and sarcastic. But he kind of toned it down, and he never made fun of me or said something to hurt my feelings. He listened when I spoke and gave advice and smiled in a different way than I'd ever seen him smile before.

During the day he was still the same old Derek, and I was the same old Casey to him—nothing changed. But at night time he was a new guy. Like Derek version 2.0, nasty virus removed. Although the old Derek was unchangeably arrogant and obnoxious, the new Derek became sweeter as we grew closer. I finally started to figure out what his ex-girlfriends saw in him. Derek Venturi was a sweetheart, one on one. You just couldn't tell anyone. That was a big thing with Derek—secrecy. He was all for leaving things unspoken. I, of course, wanted a truce between old Casey and old Derek, but he was relentless in continuing to act like his old self. I, of course, being sensible logical Casey, wanted to discuss things. What was going on, why this was happening, what we felt, what this meant, where this was going, what this would mean, how this would change things, if it _had_ to change things, if we would tell anyone, if he wanted more. But every time I tried to bring it up, I was shut down by Derek. I'd open my mouth and simply say "So Derek…" and I guess either he has mind-reading abilities or he really knows me well, cause he'd always interrupt with "Casey…" in a warning tone, or even blatantly say "Don't ruin this." And I'd stop. Because he was right. I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't really understand it, but our little meetings were beginning to mean everything to me. The last thing I wanted was for them to disappear.

How had this all started, you may be wondering. How did little Casey Macdonald end up in some completely random, semi-wrong… cuddling fling with her step brother, who until then she considered her arch-nemesis in life? Well you see, it all happened the night I broke up with Max.

I was at home, crying my eyes out like a pathetic little baby, even though I was the one who dumped him. Now these tears were most definitely not pretty tears… this was the kind of ugly crying that they don't show in movies out of fear that they'll scare the children. I was a total wreck. The house was dark, everyone was in bed, and I had spent the whole evening willing myself not to cry so that I wouldn't bring everyone else down with me. Now was finally my time to break free without anyone pitying me or feeling guilty for not knowing what to do.

Little did I know, Derek had snuck out hours before I'd made my way into the living room, and had just returned home in the middle of my crying—okay, sobbing—jag.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, sniffling loudly as I brushed the tears away with the back of my hand. I couldn't let him see me like this. When Derek saw weakness, he pounced on it and used it to his full devious advantage.

"Just uh… a midnight stroll," Derek said quickly. "What's wrong?" he asked, approaching me on the couch.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong… I'm fine. Just, the allergies, you know." I said, sniffing again for emphasis. As he sat down beside me, I caught a glimpse of Derek's face in the moonlight. It was full of… was that concern for me? Yeah right, I was imagining things. The last person Derek Venturi cared about was me. He'd made that perfectly clear.

"Case," he said reaching out for my hand, and enveloping it in his. "What's up?"

"I said _nothing_!" I insisted, but my voice broke suddenly and a sob escaped. I cupped my free hand over my mouth quickly before I could lose any more of my dignity.

"Seriously," Derek said, shifting closer so that our thighs were touching, my hand still warmly clasped in his. "I know I…" he looked down at his feet. "I don't exactly treat you like my best friend, and I know I don't always show it very well but I… I care about you."

"Like a sister?" I asked, moving my hand from my mouth.

"No, not like a sister," Derek said quickly, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

"Like what then?" I asked quietly. He looked up at me and my eyes connected with his. Silently we sat like that for what must have been at least a minute; staring into each other's eyes, still touching.

"Like…" he began. "Like a really, really good friend."

"Since when am I your friend?" I asked. "You can't stand me, remember? I'm the ultimate annoyance to you."

"I think you know me well enough by now to know that most of that is a front, Casey," Derek said simply.

I had nothing to say in return, for once, so I blinked quickly and considered. Well, I'd always suspected that deep (deep, deep, _deep_) down, Derek wasn't such a bad guy. But I'd never really had concrete proof. Until now.

As if to further prove he was a decent human being Derek let go of my fingers, but quickly clasped them with his other hand, as he placed his now free arm around my shoulders.

"So, tell me about it," Derek said simply, after a moment of silence.

So that's when I began to tell him. How I felt about Max, about losing my identity, about _everything_. And Derek just listened. Gradually I felt myself relax against him, my head nestled in the crook of his neck; keenly aware of how his body was pressed against mine; how he'd play with my fingers, grazing them with his own; and how, with the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders, his thumb soothingly stroked my upper arm, back and forth, back and forth. I spilled my guts to him about everything. And he just listened. He was exactly what I needed.

Needless to say the next day I was scared out of my mind that the previous night was some sort of ploy to get me to open up to him so that he could use all of that information against me. But he didn't say a word. He didn't change either; he threw out my lunch "by accident" and made a rude comment about my outfit. But at least he didn't tell. That night as I was falling asleep at around midnight, I heard footsteps outside my door. Someone tapped on it lightly, and then the footsteps padded softly away. Confusedly, I got up from bed and opened the door, peering around to see who had wanted my attention at this time of night. That's when I heard the soft sounds of the TV in the distance. Making my way downstairs I spotted Derek in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, his feet up on the coffee table, sitting on the couch—and _not_ in his favourite chair. And that's when I knew that he was waiting for _me_.

Of course, as you know, it continued every night after that, whether we had to comfort each other or not. But we did comfort each other, if something bad had happened to one of us that day, or if we were feeling like crap. We both knew that all the other person needed was someone to be with. We were that for each other.

Naturally it was very rare for Derek to need my comforting, since he blew most everything off like it was no big deal, while I took everything to heart. But it happened sometimes, and when it did, I got to be a shoulder for him. I remember one night, his hockey team lost the provincial finals. Derek was absolutely gutted. He acted like he was fine, but I knew that he had prepared for this provincial game for ages, and he had gone in fully expecting to win, as usual. He was devastated, I could tell from his face. It was pretty much agony having to sit through a pep talk from mom and George, TV watching with Edwin and Lizzie, and faking writing an English essay without being able to comfort him. All I wanted was to put my arms around him, place my cheek against his, and whisper that it was going to be okay.

That night I went downstairs, hoping he'd be sitting on the couch, but unsure of whether he'd be up to it. Maybe tonight he wanted to be alone. Maybe he was going to push me away. Maybe this would be the first time in the month since we'd first began this… _thing_, that he didn't want to see me.

But no, there Derek was, flipping the channels like crazy as he stared blankly at the TV. I approached him silently and sat on the opposite end of the couch, and he set the remote down, the TV on the food network. I considered for a moment how to approach this. I knew what I liked when I was upset, but what would Derek need? And then it just came to me… I knew how I'd deal with Derek's hurt.

I slid over next to him and instead of nestling up against his chest like usual, I sat up and placed one leg on the couch on the left side of Derek, and one leg on the right, so that I was kneeling, straddling his legs. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pressed my face against it, so his chin was resting against the top of my head. I did all of this in complete silence, and within seconds, Derek let out an audible sigh, and I felt his body relax against mine as he reached his arms around me and rubbed my back, leaning down quickly to kiss my forehead. We sat quietly for at least a half an hour before Derek was ready to talk. And when he did, I listened. Just like he had done for me. And just like he knew what exactly I needed to feel better the night Max and I broke up, I knew what he needed. Hey, what are friends for, right? The problem was, Derek was becoming more than just a friend to me. And because of our "No Talking About It" rule, and the delicate state of our relationship, I couldn't know if he felt the same.

**Next chapter:** Derek and Casey push the limits of their friendly "situation" and after Derek teases Casey about her potential feelings for him she attempts to prove him wrong by helping him with Sally.


	2. Chapter Two: To Be Alone With You

Delicate

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the nice reviews! They were greatly appreciated, so please keep them coming. I have some ideas for some other stories (way too many ideas, actually!) so hopefully I'll be able to work on them too. This story isn't going to be too long, and I'm actually going to post a three-parter story as well really soon, so if you like my writing, look out for it! Thanks again for all the positive feedback! Remember, your reviews are my fuel!

**Chapter Two:** _To Be Alone With You_

Everything shifted one night a couple of weeks later. It seemed like a normal day in the Venturi-McDonald household at first. Derek spent the day tormenting his siblings in various ways as usual. I, of course, was not exempt from this torture; if anything I got more than usual, with Derek shooting me snide comments about everything from the way I neatly ate my French toast at breakfast, cutting precisely with my knife, to the new highlights I had in my hair. At dinner he still gazed at me with intensity when he thought I wasn't looking and still glanced away casually when I returned his looks, daring him to stare into my eyes for once. I was still slightly uncomfortable under his gazes, and yet beginning to feel more confident because of them. I knew that despite all the cruelty and torment he put me through during the day, at night I'd feel special to him again. I'd _be_ special to him again.

An average Sunday night felt like a blessing to me. I never minded the monotony or predictability of routine. In fact, I thrived on it. Everything was going according to plan, which pleased me. However, my plan was tripped up a bit as I slowly crept downstairs at five after midnight to see the couch empty, the television dark. _Maybe Derek's just a bit late doing an assignment or something, _I told myself as I sat down on the achingly bare couch, trying to remain calm. _Okay, maybe he's a bit late planning some sort of prank or calling one of his conquests_, I reconsidered. That thought wasn't too much comfort though, and caused my stomach to tie up in anxious knots.

Just as I started to consider what I'd do if Derek for once did not show up for our nightly rendezvous, I heard the soft thumps of Derek making his way down the staircase. Turning to see his dishevelled appearance, I smiled brightly at him, hoping he didn't sense the relief in my face. He smiled back lightly, almost as if he didn't want to, but was unable to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upwards.

He only said two words. "My room," he stated matter-of-factly. With that, he turned around on his heel and marched right back upstairs. That is, if marching could be as casual and lazily sexy as he managed to be as he walked. Glad that he wasn't there to see the panic and concern flicker across my face, I considered the implications. His room?! But what did he expect me to do there? Did he think I'd just sleep with him, like that? That I'd give it all up and become one of his conquests with no arguments or conversations? What the hell was going on?

Furiously I stood up and silently but swiftly padded up the stairs. I reached Derek's room and opened the door without any hesitation. There laid Derek, stretched across his bed casually, as his fingers reached up his shirt to scratch himself, allowing a bare tantalizing view of skin to be shown. I don't admit things like this easily, but I was thrown off by this glimpse into the unknown, and was unable to speak for a few seconds, allowing Derek to cut in with another one of his trademark witty quips.

"Just because you're here by invitation doesn't mean you're allowed to ignore the knocking rule, Space Case," Derek teased.

Finally my tongue allowed me to respond. "What the hell Derek? We have a system. An orderly, predictable, _reliable_ system. And you ruined it! What am I doing up here? Let's go back downstairs before someone catches us, or we 'ruin it', like you always worry about!"

"Shut the door please, Case, or else you'll wake up the whole household," Derek remarked calmly. His calm was even more infuriating.

Glaring at him fiercely, I reached backwards with my foot and swung the door closed.

"Good, now lock it," Derek said with a sly smile, his voice charmingly persuasive and yet arrogant, his eyes twinkling mischievously, even in the dim lighting.

With an exaggerated sigh, I turned and with my thumb pressed the lock down with a click. "Now what, oh master?" I asked sarcastically.

The smirk on Derek's face grew. "Now, sit on my bed. Please," he added as an afterthought.

With a roll of my eyes, I did so, tucking the smooth locks of my straight hair behind my ears. A nervous habit.

"Now, what's the problem?" Derek asked, and just as I opened my mouth to respond, he cut in again. "Besides you missing your lame predictability, of course." He chuckled to himself, enjoying the frustration I obviously emanated.

"I'm not…" my anger gave way to vulnerability and fear as I glanced away, unwilling to see the self-satisfied smirk he was sure to have at the following words. "I'm not going to sleep with you…" I said quietly, uncertainly. "I'm not ready…" catching my breath, I stopped and then continued angrily, fuelled by Derek's silence. "If you think I'm like all the other girls and that you can just use me, and charm me into sleeping with you, with a smile or a compliment or an arch of those ridiculous eyebrows, you're mistaken. I'm not that kind of girl, Derek! I can't believe you'd think—"

I stopped as I felt a warm hand cup my cheek. Turning finally to face Derek, I didn't see amusement or annoyance on his face, but care and concern. It completely took my breath away.

After a moment of silence, he finally spoke. I was glad he did, because I couldn't. Not after seeing the look on his face.

"I would…" he paused. "I didn't think…" he shook his head, his shaggy hair moving with conviction. "I'd never…" I was surprised at this turn of events. Whatever I expected him to say, Derek Venturi unable to find the words to speak his mind was something I could never predict. He took a deep breath in, and let it out with a sigh. "I wouldn't do that to you, Casey," he said softly. My name wasn't an insult or a dirty word in his voice, it was endearing, affectionate, almost like a pet-name.

"Okay," I said in return, my eyes searching his. He didn't need to say any more or explain. That was all I needed to hear. As I gazed into his eyes, just as I longed to earlier at dinner, I hoped I was able to convey those thoughts of acceptance to him. I seemed to, because with a careful stroke downwards, he let go of my face and laid back once more, smiling confidently. My cheek felt bare, like someone had taken something that was meant to be there, like my nose or my eyes, and left it blank. I missed the palm of his hand there.

"Turn off the light," he said calmly, as if the last two minutes of intimacy and understanding had never happened and he had just ordered me to sit down on his mattress. Instead of doing so with a snide comment or a roll of my eyes, or simply refusing to be ordered around at all, I did as he asked. After what he said, the look on his face… the way his skin felt against mine, I knew I couldn't resist. I'm sure he knew that too.

As I flicked the light beside his bed off, darkness surrounded us. I couldn't even see Derek anymore, but I could hear the quiet breathing coming from the direction I knew he was.

"Now what?" I said softly. _Tell me to kiss you._

"Get under the blankets with me," Derek said, amused.

I did as he asked, lifting the comforter and sliding myself underneath, getting a whiff of Derek as I did so. It was a guy smell… laundry detergent, mixed with aftershave, mixed with deodorant, mixed with cologne. But it was him. It was the scent I always sniffed as I cuddled close to him. And now I was surrounded by it. I was practically swimming in it.

I sat there tensely, holding my knees against my chest under the blankets as I awaited my next order in silence.

"Come closer," Derek commanded, his voice confident and sly. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

I released the grip on my knees, slowly letting my legs slink down against the sheets, as I laid down on my back. Sliding over, I felt warmth encircle me as Derek pulled me into his arms. I relaxed into familiarity as I turned to him, our bodies practically spooning, but in the opposite direction, so that we were facing each other, our legs touching and our arms encircling each other.

"Casey," Derek said against my neck, as he breathed in deeply. It wasn't a question, as much as a statement. _Casey_. My name had never sounded better on anyone else's lips.

I slid my hands up and down his back, feeling his shoulders through the thin material of his t-shirt. I couldn't help but wonder what they felt like bare.

Although the silence which had engulfed us was not awkward; it was more comfortable; companionable, Derek soon broke it with a statement. He never seemed to ask anything, but tell. Even when he wanted a response to a question. He seldom asked, but usually told the person to answer. It was the same with me, but for once, I wanted him to ask me something. A straight out question. _What are you feeling right now, Case?_ If he asked me that, I'd answer truthfully.

"You follow directions really well," he said, his voice deep as he tried to remain quiet.

"Thanks," I said lightly. And then decided to put something out there, and see what I'd get in response. Testing the waters. "Any more orders?"

Derek hesitated, as his hand continued to stroke the curves of my waist, back and forth. Finally, he leaned forward, his mouth achingly close to my ear.

"Tell me a secret," he breathed, the whispered tones of his voice giving me goosebumps and making me long to touch him… _everywhere_.

"A secret," I considered out loud, still excited by Derek's close proximity. What could I tell him that would a) satisfy his curiosity b) not be too revealing and c) allow me to tell him in so many words that I wanted him to kiss me, touch me, tell me how he felt… but only if he wanted to.

Unsure, confused and unable to come up with anything that even remotely covered those three rules, I said the only thing that I could come up with, that was complimentary and inviting, and yet safe, so that if he laughed at it, I wouldn't be hurt.

"I don't… _completely_… hate you," I said.

Derek chuckled lightly, but not in a mocking way, more in a happy way, which filled me with relief. "Same here, Case," he responded in turn.

Working up the courage, I reached for Derek's hand and intertwined my fingers with his. "Tell me a secret," I offered gently.

"I know I teased you about your hair before, but it actually looks really cute," Derek said lightly.

"De-_rek_!" I exclaimed. "While it's nice to hear something complimentary for once, that was lame, as far as secrets go."

"Yours wasn't much better," Derek stated simply.

"Well, then set the example."

"Okay."

"Well…"

"Ask the question again," Derek replied. "I'm ready."

I sighed. "Okay. Tell me a secret," I repeated.

"I think you're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever met," Derek said automatically, as if he had rehearsed this in his head a million times before.

"Don't joke!" I exclaimed, unsure of whether he was being serious or not. "I was telling the truth before!"

"So was I," Derek whispered, as he squeezed my hand in his.

My heart leapt up in my chest, and my mouth stretched into a huge smile that I was unable to contain. "Really?" I asked eagerly.

"Mm hmm," Derek replied lightly, his thumb lightly stroking my palm. "But don't let it go to your head or anything. I haven't met Rachel McAdams yet," he teased.

I smiled at that, as I rolled my eyes, feeling more at ease with the joking than the compliments. They felt amazing, but I still had no idea how to react to them.

Derek let go of my hand and instead draped his arm around my back, to match the other. He pushed me closer to him. I was keenly aware that his face was two inches from mine. How could I not be, with his hot breath against my cheek.

"Tell me another secret," he said, this time more gently, almost as if he was asking, not telling.

I decided it was the time to put myself out on an emotional limb, and so I took a deep breath in and out, and followed it up by swallowing loudly. "These nights… these times with you…" I hesitated, and as his warm eyes smiled encouragingly at me, I got the nerve to continue. "They mean a lot to me. They're my favourite part of every day," I finished shyly.

Without responding immediately, Derek reached his hand from my waist to push back my hair from my face. It was an affectionate gesture, almost a 'thank you', in Derek speak.

I didn't even have to ask him to tell me another secret of his own. He did so automatically, to skip a step. "I've never hated you," he stated directly, his voice quiet, yet warm. "At first, when I met you, I was intrigued. I thought 'who is this girl? She's so confident, so self-assured, so complex so… _different_ from anyone else.' As I got to know you better, I thought that there couldn't be any two people less alike. I just didn't understand you, and I felt like you could never understand me. But over time I came to see that the reason why we fight so much isn't 'cause we're so different from each other, but because we're so alike. When I came home and saw you crying that one day, it hurt me. It actually physically hurt me to see you like that. And I realized it's because I care about you. No, before you ask, not like a sister. Like a best friend I never knew I had. So I just want you to know, in case I don't say it a lot or you're unsure of my real… feelings, I do really, really care for you, Casey."

As he finished the confession he had delivered to the wall, he looked over at me, like a vulnerable puppy dog, hoping for a treat. I had never seen that side of Derek before. I instantly wanted to reassure him that everything he had just said was more than okay with me.

I reached up my hand to brush through his hair, hoping this gesture of intimacy would give him as much calm as it had given me when he had done it. "I care about you too Derek."

He smiled at me then, a real genuine smile, and then held me close against him, his chin resting on my shoulder, as my chin rested on his. And then we slept, knowing things were definitely changing, and hopefully for the better.

**A/N:** Sorry, there was too much to get through to do the Casey helping Derek with Sally thing, so I'll work on that next chapter. This seemed like a good place to end.

**Next chapter:** After Derek teases Casey about her potential feelings for him; she attempts to prove him wrong by helping him with Sally.


	3. Chapter Three: Secret Heart

**Delicate**

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_Disclaimer__**:**_ Some parts of this chapter feature actual scenes/lines/concepts created by the Life with Derek writers. I do not own them. This is simply fan fiction, I do not profit from them, and I own nothing in this story.

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A/N: Thanks everyone for the great reviews! They're really appreciated. Please keep them coming because they mean so much to me. Any feedback is awesome. If you're enjoying this story, check out my other shorter Dasey fic, 'Second Time's the Charm' and also reply if you're able to! Thanks again!

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_Note:_ I forgot to mention in the last chapter but the title, _To be Alone with you_ is by Sufjan Stevens. This chapter's title _Secret Heart_ is by Feist.

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**Chapter Three****: Secret Heart**

……

We slept then for a few hours until, at around 5 am, he gently woke me by nudging my shoulder. Opening my eyes groggily I realized in a sudden state of panic where I was! Derek's room?! In his bed?! I glanced at the alarm clock. 5:10? I had to go.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed as I sprung up in bed, whipping the blankets from me.

"Whoa Casey, what's the rush," Derek murmured as he encircled my waist with his arms drawing me closely so that he could burry his face in my hair.

"What's the rush Derek? It's five am! We are so going to get busted!"

"Mmph," he mumbled against my hair. Why was he so infuriatingly calm all the time? And why had he let us fall asleep like that?

"Why are you _so_ infuriatingly calm all the time? And _why_ did you let us fall asleep like that?!" I asked.

He sighed and let his hands slide from my waist as he fell back on his bed, bouncing slightly against the mattress. "Casey," he said calmly, almost as if my freak-out was boring him. "_Relax_. It's only 5 am, you know no one's awake yet, and no one noticed you were gone. I woke you up so that you could make your way back to your room in time to get another hour or two of sleep, and then get ready. No one will know. So _calm down_. Do you think I'm so stupid that I'd ask you to come in here, without a plan? _Of course_ I have a plan," he sat up suddenly, annoyance flashing across his face. "I _always_ have a plan."

"Sorry," I said, feeling a little guilty that I didn't completely trust him. After every night together, I felt so many things for him. I felt friendship and even romance, but I still couldn't trust him. Not completely. I still worried that in the end, he'd hurt me more than he ever could have if we had just remained enemies.

"Don't worry about it," he said nonchalantly, with a shrug. A shrug to say _I don't care_. He didn't care, really. Not in that way about me. And I suddenly realized, as a knot formed in my stomach that I wanted him to. I wanted him to think of me in that way. I was falling hard for Derek Venturi, and I had no clue how he felt.

_Take it slow_, I told myself. _Be his friend, get closer to him. Then maybe he'll realize that he cares for me in that way too. _

I looked up at him, willing him to hold me, to take my hand, to do anything. But he never did. "Goodnight," is all he said, his eyes probing through me like an x-ray.

So I stood up slowly, and was careful to be quiet as I tip-toed towards the door. As I left, my hand lingering on the door, cracked open enough for me to see him, I noticed he was still sitting there, watching me, his face serious. And I wondered, as I closed the door with a soft click if maybe, just maybe, that meant he felt the same way.

Or perhaps I was becoming one of many. Another one of those poor girls who felt like they were getting close to Derek, only to be pushed away and replaced with someone else.

Only time would tell.

…………………………………

Of course Derek was right. He was always right. No one even noticed I had left my room the night before. No one noticed that I left it every night to sleep in Derek's bed, only to return every morning at around five. Nothing happened but cuddling, even though I wanted it to.

It remained this way for a while, until one night. A night when things changed. Not for the better, no. Not for me. For the worse.

I was lying in Derek's arms as we stared up at the ceiling, lost in our own thoughts. I turned on my side then, snuggling up against him, as I reached for his left hand, holding it in mine.

"You've changed," Derek said suddenly, his voice serious, almost thoughtful.

"What do you mean?" I asked lightly, as I played with his hand, stroking up and down his fingers, tickling his palm.

"You've started treating me… differently," he explained. I sat up a bit, to gage his reaction but his face was expressionless, upturned as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Yeah… I guess," I admitted. "But I mean, _we've_ changed. We're different now. We're… friends," I offered shyly.

"Yeah, I know that," he said, his voice a little impatient. "But I mean you've changed during the day, too."

"So?"

"So, I thought that this was our idea… our plan. Be normal during the day; pretend like we don't give a shit about each other, and then at night, be… _this_."

I sat up in bed then, my hand still holding his. "Our plan? More like your plan. I don't care if people know we're friends now. But you wouldn't know that, because we can never talk about it… and as for this, what _is_ 'this' anyways? What's going on with us?"

He turned his face from the ceiling to look up at me now, a devious grin stretching smugly across his face. "You have a crush on me, don't you?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked defensively. "First of all, no. Second, what does that have to do with anything I just said?"

"Casey McDonald likes me," Derek sang softly.

"Do not. Stop it," I said childishly. I removed my hand from his and pushed against his arm.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll stop," he said quickly, grabbing my hand back so that he could hold it in his.

Silence.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything else?" I prodded. "Like explain yourself maybe?"

Derek sighed.

"For one thing, I teased you because you asked about 'this' and what's going on with 'us' because, as I suspect, you have a little crush on yours truly," I started to protest, but Derek talked over me. "Nothing to be ashamed of, of course. I am quite the charmer," he grinned. "Second, this is our plan because this is for both of our sakes. I don't like talking about this, it's true, because we have a good thing going and I don't want to talk about it and over-analyze it, cause if we do, we'll ruin it. Don't let our friendship become a rerun of Dawson's Creek, Casey."

"You watch Dawson's Creek?" I asked with a laugh.

He crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Occasionally, when there's nothing else on. Don't laugh, it's a good show. And don't tell anyone either. Anyways, to continue… now where was I? Oh yes, our plan. It's our plan because it's to the benefit of both of us to stay as normal as we can during the day. Why? Because if we start acting all friendly all of a sudden people are going to suspect things. Then they're going to bug and question us forever. They won't trust us. We'll be under constant supervision. We're teenagers Casey. I'm a guy and you're a girl. It's only natural that they'll suspect we're sleeping together. Then under all of the pressure of their suspicions and questions our delicate friendship will crumble. Do you want that to happen Casey?" I shook my head. "Neither do I. So that's why we have to pretend to hate each other—and before you ask, no, we can't act normal when alone because you know this house. Any moment someone could barge in and see us hugging or talking all friendly and start suspecting things. That's why we have a strict day to night policy. During the day, we're enemies, at all times. During the night, when everyone is sleeping, we're friends. It just uncomplicates things. Got it?"

I nodded. "Wow, Derek. Are you sure you're not smarter than you let on? That was pretty perceptive."

"Let's just say I might not be a Casey McDonald, but I'm not a complete moron either. Especially when it comes to noticing how things go. There's a delicate balance in the universe, Case. And I know what'll disturb it."

"Um, okay," I responded, not knowing what else to say.

"Any questions or comments before we move on and never discuss this again?" he asked calmly.

"Yes, actually," I smiled. "I have a comment. Just because you have a huge ego that allows you to misconstrue situations, influencing you into believing that everyone in the planet has a massive crush on you, does not mean that it's true. I just happen to like you. As a friend," I lied.

"Oh yeah?" Derek raised his eyebrows, an amused smile gracing his face. "I don't believe you."

"Then I'll prove it to you," I stated, attempting to smile confidently. I couldn't let Derek see right through me.

"Prove it to me? Now that's interesting. How so?"

I thought fast. "I'll… I'll help you with a girl," I said quickly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. If I ever have an opportunity to help you with a girl you like, I will," I explained. "Why would I do that if I liked you?"

"Hmm, alright," Derek muttered thoughtfully as he scratched his chin.

I smiled at him.

"But maybe not," he said. "We'll see. You still have the face."

"What face?!" I asked defensively.

"The crushing-on-Derek-Venturi-face. I know it well," he smirked matter-of-factly.

"Whatever," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Well, I'll be going then," I stood up, already knowing how he'd react.

"I don't think so," he called softly, encircling my waist with his arms and dragging me down onto the bed. He was embracing me from behind then, his legs entangled with mine, his breath on my neck. "You're mine," he whispered triumphantly in my ear. He didn't know how right he was.

………………………………………………………………

It was actually the very next day when I figured out a way to prove it to him. I don't know why it was so important for me to show him that I didn't like him, but it was. I think my main issue was that I didn't want him to treat me differently; if our relationship was going to progress to more than friends, I wanted it to be mutual.

So as much as it hurt me, I knew what I had to do. I had to help Derek with Sally. As soon as she came up to me in Smelly Nelly's complaining about how she blew it with him, begging me to help, my non-meddling policy was out the window. This would prove to him once and for all that I was safe to be around; no feelings, no problems, right?

Once I got home I headed straight for his room. Derek was bossing around Edwin, as usual so I figured it was a good time.

"Uh, can I talk to you about something private, and kind of important?" I asked him as soon as I entered his room.

Edwin got up to leave, but Derek stopped him, his panic made obvious by the speed of his response. "Nothing you could say could ever be private, or important," he said quickly. "Edwin stays." I knew immediately what he was thinking; _Casey's going to try to ruin our day-night system again_. But he was wrong. I was out to prove I could play along; no real emotions involved.

"It's about Sally," I replied directly.

"Edwin goes," he said, just as quick.

After Edwin left he turned to me. "Okay, spill. What do you got?"

The door was open so I made sure to be normal. As normal as possible, at least. "Smart, pretty, and for some reason still interested if you still are, so it's a no-brainer."

Derek proceeded to explain why it wouldn't be possible—something about Sally playing mind games. I tried to explain to him that girls needed time after breaking up with guys; basically being as impartial and uncaring as I could be. Once he told me that time was up, and got up to usher me out of his room, I guess I panicked and it slipped out.

"It's just that Sally said that you said…" I started.

"Whoa, whoa," Derek exclaimed, wide-eyed with panic. "You and Sally talked? About me?" I'm guessing that he probably wasn't too happy that his 'cuddle-buddy' was chatting with his potential love-interest. So I racked my brain with a response so that he wouldn't be completely pissed off at me. Note to self; don't go so far to prove yourself that you end up making him resent you.

"No…no! It's just… something I picked up," I smiled weakly.

He then blasted me about staying out of his private life.

"I was just trying to help," I said sadly, utterly defeated. With that, I left his room reluctantly, sighing. How else could I prove that I didn't like him?

When my mom mentioned how much she liked Sally the next day, I knew I had a perfect in. I encouraged a joining-of-forces, so that I could prove to Derek without getting too involved that I was cool; no crush present.

I tried so hard to make it happen, inviting Sally over, encouraging her about Derek. When he messed everything up, I figured, screw it. I tried my best to help him; there wasn't anything else I could do anymore, so I told Sally about Derek's plan and washed my hands of the situation.

When he came into my room asking for my advice, of course I had to milk the situation, but in the end I gave it to him. I told him exactly what to do, because I wanted him to win over Sally. In the end, he'd thank me and never doubt my feelings again. At least until he felt them himself.

The bad news is, it worked. And now I had to live with it.

……………………………………………………

"Derek?" I whispered. We'd said our goodnights at least twenty minutes before, but I just couldn't sleep.

"Mm," he said groggily, his voice coming from behind me. "What is it Case?" He was spooning me, his arms snug around my sides, his mouth against my hair.

I decided to just bite the bullet and ask him. "Do you really like Sally?"

I felt him shift a bit behind me. "Yeah, I like her. She's a cool girl. Why? You jealous or something? I thought you'd proven pretty nicely by helping us along that my crush suspicions were unfounded."

"I know," I said softly. "And I'm not jealous," _Liar._ "I just wanted to know… I… I want you to be happy, that's all. It's important to me." At least that part was true.

"That's sweet of you, Case," he murmured against my ear, as he held me closer, sighing quietly. "Go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay," I breathed. "Sweet dreams."

"I always do when you're here," he mumbled, half-coherent as he gave my waist a squeeze.

I was suddenly especially glad that he couldn't see me as the silent tears escaped, running down my face. When would he look at me the way he looked at Sally?

…

…

**Next Chapter:** Derek goes a bit too far trying to act "normal" in front of the family that he ends up hurting Casey's feeling in the process.

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A/N: Sorry, kind of an emo end to the chapter, but it all ties in. Just remember that we have no clue what Derek is thinking or feeling. We're in Casey's head so don't judge him too harshly! The next chapter will be cuter and will show the softer side to Derek, I'm thinking. Reviews are always appreciated and adored!

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	4. Chapter Four: Between Love & Hate

**Delicate**

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A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Yay! I love reviews! Please keep them coming, they mean a lot to me, and the more reviews the more motivated I am to update quickly! If you haven't checked out my other three-parter Dasey story, _Second Time's the Charm _it's not too late, the third part is coming your way in a few days, so take a look! If you like my writing on this, you'll probably enjoy that story too, though it is more comedic and less angst-filled. The chapter title is a song by the Strokes. Hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter! Thanks for reading!

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**Chapter Four****: Between Love & Hate**

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Things continued this way for a few weeks without anything much changing at all; Derek spent his days with Sally and his nights with me. _Every day_ I saw him with someone else—laughing, tickling her, talking softly as he brushed the hair from her face, kissing—all when they thought I wasn't looking, but I noticed. He'd come home from a date whistling and humming to himself, unable to keep from smirking or laughing, as if there was a secret joke that the rest of us weren't privy to. I honestly hadn't ever seen him so happy because of a girl before; not even Kendra. So in a sick, twisted way I was glad for him… I was glad that someone was making him happy, even if it wasn't me. But a larger part of me was hurting though I fixed on a smile; I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

I had finally reached my breaking point one evening that Fall, after a particularly trying day. Well, that's not exactly true. It actually all started the night before.

We were in his bed, and I was completely out of breath from laughing so much. Derek had found the places where I was most ticklish early on in our newfound friendship and exploited them to the best of his ability on a nightly basis. Gasping for air, yet still grinning like crazy (Why wouldn't I grin? I'd just had Derek's hands all over me? Okay, I'm sick.) I turned to look at Derek. He was watching me, a satisfied smile stretched across his face. I thought bitterly to myself; _what does he see in Sally? Can she make him smile like I can?_ But, of course, I already knew the answer to that question.

I couldn't help myself. I had to know. Before I had a chance to stop the words from overflowing, it was too late... "Are you falling for Sally?" I asked.

Confusion flickered across Derek's face, as simultaneously his smile disappeared. He sat up a bit in bed. "No." Relief filled me, and I tried to suppress the grin that was threatening to take over my face. "I don't believe in love," he said quickly, and looked away, almost as if he was embarrassed.

My stomach dropped. "You… don't… believe… in love?" I asked. It wasn't really a direct question; more of a perplexed statement, but Derek treated it as the former.

"To be honest, I don't think I do, Case," he sighed. "Think about it. Does anyone really stay together anymore? No, because divorce is legal and acceptable now, so why stay together if you don't want to? Love should be more permanent, don't you think? But no one stays married, no one stays together because they don't have to. So after the lust, the care, the obligation is gone, so is the relationship. If there was such a thing as love then wouldn't they stay together?" he rambled.

"I guess so," I said quietly, as I blinked. My brain was so clouded from his admission that I couldn't even think straight; let alone argue in favour of something I actually believed strongly in.

"I'm surprised," Derek replied, and to my relief laughed lightly. He reached out to place his hand over mine and grinned knowingly at me, almost as if he knew all of the things I felt for him and relished in his ability to make my heart race. "Romantic Casey McDonald. I'm sure you believe in love and destiny and all that junk, so why aren't you arguing?"

I was so tired of lying all the time, I decided to be truthful for once. Besides, this admission wouldn't expose me. I shrugged in response. "I guess I'm just tired of arguing with you, that's all," I replied sincerely.

If that at all bothered him he didn't let it show as he smirked his reply smugly; "Doesn't seem that way when you get on my case and pick fights with me."

"I only do it because it's important to you," I said genuinely, wanting to share a real heart-to-heart moment with him, but anticipating his response.

It was just as I expected. "And you're awesome for that, Case," he said with a grin as he began tickling me, laughter bubbling out of me uncontrollably, although the last thing I felt like doing was laugh.

……………………………………

Everything in life has a purpose. I truly, honestly believe that. Everything that happens to you is for a reason; whether to give you something, take something from you, or teach you something. Life is always giving you little lessons; especially teaching you that you can't really control what happens, and sometimes you have to go with the flow. Being a controlling person, that's a little hard to accept sometimes, but I've been getting better at it. It's become a little easier after dealing with Derek.

Now, the night that I discovered that Derek didn't believe in love had a very specific purpose. It was going to set off a chain-reaction, with a result I absolutely did not expect. But like I said, everything happens for a reason.

The next day, the utterly craptastic day, I felt like nothing was going my way. I'd overslept after tossing and turning in Derek's bed most of the night, unable to turn off my brain. I couldn't eat breakfast so my stomach grumbled until lunch time, and even then I found out I'd forgotten my lunch. After only eating an apple, a thankful gift from Emily, I had a test in Chemistry to write.

I knew my stuff. I know I did. Granted, I hadn't been studying as hard as I usually did, because I was distracted by my own personal demons, but I _had_ studied. Probably harder than most of the kids in that class. Unfortunately, I was just too distracted to do a half-decent job.

The entire time my mind was focused on Derek. I couldn't believe that he didn't believe in love. And what, I asked myself, did that mean for me? What did that mean for us? I had to believe that if Derek and I ever got involved that it was such a precarious situation that it would have to be more than just a silly fling, for us to risk it. It would have to be love. And if Derek didn't believe in it, then well… I thought my chances were slim to none before, but now it was all utterly hopeless.

Before I knew it the teacher cleared his throat, asking us to pass our tests to the person behind us, so that we could grade each other. I was aware that I was doomed from the moment I blushingly passed my exam to the tall freckled basketball player who sat behind me, but it didn't hit me until I'd gotten the exam back and saw the big red zero. I had failed. Not only had I failed, but I'd done worse than I'd ever thought possible.

Unable to hold it in much longer, I stuffed my books in my bag, and handed the test to my teacher who was collecting them all. I bolted from the room, and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half crying in the Ladies' Room.

When I finally arrived home, I caught Derek and Sally making out on the couch. Yeah, that was a nice surprise. Especially after the day I had.

Tearfully I said, "Sorry," and ran into the kitchen so that I could collect myself by grabbing some water. What I didn't anticipate was that Derek followed me.

"I'm going to talk to her. Meet me in my room okay?" he said to Sally.

"Sure," her voice responded, and she headed up the stairs while Derek made his way into the kitchen. After me.

"What's wrong, Space Case?" he asked casually.

"Nothing. Go away," I replied, my back to him.

"Casey… I know something's wrong so just tell me what it is, and stop moping like a baby about it," he said.

Without turning around, I responded. "I had a chemistry test today. I got a zero," I said matter-of-factly, hoping and praying the tears that were threatening to fall down my face would just go away. Or that Derek would go away. He'd never understand anyways. To him, school was a waste and I was just a keener who did well without trying. He didn't get how much work I put into it, how important it was for me to be perfect. I'd tried to explain it to him before, but it obviously didn't register.

But Derek surprised me. He was silent for a second or two, but when he responded, his voice was hushed. "I'm so sorry, Case," he whispered. And at that moment, I knew. I knew that he realized how important it was to me.

So I did what I probably shouldn't have done. I turned to my best friend, my face crumpled up in very un-pretty tears, and I cried. And he held me. He held me close while he stroked my hair.

"Shhh," he said. "Shh, it's okay Case. It'll be okay. This never happens to you. Ask to re-do the test or do an extra credit project to make it up. Your teacher will understand… they all love you. They'd do anything for you. Anything to make you happy." Although he was supposedly talking about my teachers, it felt like in reality he was talking about himself. And that made me feel so much better.

I hugged him then, long and hard, and whispered "Thank you," in his ear.

He leaned back, looking into my eyes and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. I smiled weakly and he grinned back, pushing me close to him again, we hugged once more. I realized then that his shoulder was damp. "Sorry, I got your shirt wet," I mumbled against him.

He laughed. "It's okay."

And that's when my parents arrived.

"We're home!" Mom exclaimed as they walked through the front door, and then it went silent. I'm thinking it's because they noticed we were hugging.

Derek and I moved apart quickly.

"We were just—"

"He was—"

"I thought she—"

I took a deep breath in and let it out. "Derek was just comforting me. I failed a test and I was really upset."

"Yeah and she wouldn't stop crying," Derek explained.

"And so he asked me what would make me stop crying," I continued.

"She said the only thing that would make her stop was a hug from her mom," he said quickly. "I told her you weren't home so I offered one instead. I was just trying to be… brotherly," he offered lamely.

"Oh, okay," Mom replied with a stiff smile.

"Sure, makes sense," George said.

But I could tell that they weren't completely convinced.

"So… Sally's upstairs in my room. Gotta go study," Derek said quickly, and before I could blink he was bounding up the stairs.

"Want that hug now?" Mom said as she set a bag of groceries down.

I nodded. "I could really use it."

………………………………………………

I didn't have much of an appetite, but I decided to sit through dinner for my mom's sake. She was worried about me, and I hated when she worried. She had so many other things to do; the last thing she needed was to watch over and check up on me.

Sally stayed for dinner. It had become a tradition the past few weeks. She'd sit beside Derek and shoot him little smiles and laugh at everything he said. I was convinced that underneath the table she was either playing footsies with him or else touching him in inappropriate places. To be honest, the last thing I wanted that night was to see her at my dinner table sitting beside _my_ Derek, but what else could I do?

"So, Casey," Sally said suddenly, as Mom and George were distracted discussing a new TV show with Lizzie and Edwin. "What's new with you?"

That was an annoying habit of Sally's. She always tried to make small-talk with me, even though I really had no interest chatting with her. She was nice enough, of course; which made it all the more annoying. She was too perfect to dislike.

I hated her like poison.

"Not much. Same old, same old," I mumbled.

She smiled stiffly at me. "Come on, Case. You must have some exciting news. Any new love interests?" she asked eagerly.

Before I could respond, Derek cut in. "Ha, like anyone would go out with Train-wreck McDonald over there." He stabbed a portion of spaghetti and stuffed it in his mouth.

I sighed and pushed the food around my plate. I really wasn't in the mood to verbally spar with Derek tonight.

"Come on Derek," Sally rolled her eyes, but she was smiling in spite of herself. "I know Casey's had boyfriends. I met Max at the prom, remember?"

"Max hardly counts though," Derek replied with a smirk. "Nothing up there," he lifted his hand to mock knocking on his forehead. "So naturally he'd go for Casey."

I shrugged, avoiding the bait.

Derek seemed to take that as a challenge, and continued. "To be honest, Casey has infamously horrible taste in guys."

For some reason that really bugged me. Maybe it was because I knew he was right, and I didn't want to admit it.

"I do not!" I exclaimed, irritated. "I dated your best friend, remember?"

"Yes, and what a mistake that turned out to be," Derek smiled, satisfied that he was finally starting to rile me up.

"Whatever," I mumbled as I reached for my glass of milk.

"In fact, Casey just has horrible luck with guys. All of her relationships only seem to last a couple of months. Even I've had longer relationships than her, and I'm supposedly a Ladies' Man," Derek explained to Sally. "It's sad really. One day the guy likes Casey… for some inconceivable reason, of course… and the next day she's driving him crazy with her whining and nitpicking and nagging. Then they break up."

_Just ignore him_, I said inwardly. _Just ignore him and maybe he'll stop._

But he didn't stop. "If I was in their shoes, I'd dump her too."

"Stop it!" I exclaimed angrily, my eyes filling with hot tears. "Just leave me alone, Derek," I said quietly.

"You know better than that," Derek scoffed.

"Casey, are you okay?" Sally asked softly. Damn her for being so nice and concerned when in reality I hated her.

"I'm fine," I lied, as I took my paper napkin in my hands and started shredding it into little tiny bits out of frustration. "Can I be excused?" I called over to my mom, but she was saying something to George and didn't hear me. I continued the shredding process, keeping my eyes anywhere but on Derek's face.

"Ha, you're not fine," Derek said. "Casey's upset," he explained to Sally. "Because she got a zero on a test. And her keener self can't take it. Her world is falling apart," he said dramatically. "The zero will bring her mark down to a B+ and throw off her whole school average, and then she'll never get accepted into the college she wants—it only takes straight A students, you see. Her life will be over, just because of one little zero."

Without meaning to, my eyes went to him. He was smirking, self-satisfied. He knew the right buttons to push; the right buttons to destroy me. And that smirk sent me over the edge.

I stood up quickly, pushing the chair out behind me with a loud screech. "Yeah, and it's all _your fault_!" I screamed angrily.

Bursting into angry tears, I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking it behind me. I slid down to the floor in frustration, bringing my knees up to my chest.

How could I feel so much hatred for the one person I thought I was falling in love with?

……………………………………………………

**Next Chapter:** How will Derek react to Casey's hurt? And how will this incident change their relationship? Which result does Casey not expect as mentioned; "Now, the night that I discovered that Derek didn't believe in love had a very specific purpose. It was going to set off a chain-reaction, with a result I absolutely did not expect. But like I said, everything happens for a reason." Stay tuned to the next chapter to find out!

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A/N: Sorry the chapter was a bit overly angsty again… this is sort of an angsty story but eh… the next one will be better, I promise. And as for those of you pining away for a Dasey kiss, just remember that the best things are worth waiting for! Please review! (I also accept anonymous reviews, fyi) Feedback is greatly appreciated and treasured.


	5. Chapter Five: Make a Plan to Love Me

**Delicate**

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A/N: Thank you all so much for all of the amazing reviews! It definitely made me super happy the past few days to see so much positive feedback! And as a reward, I'm updating faster… what can I say, the more reviews I get, the more motivated I am to write, and therefore the quicker I'm able to update! Keep that in mind for the future! If you like this story, check out my other one, _Second Time's the Charm_. The chapter title, _Make a Plan to Love Me_, is a song by Bright Eyes. Thank you all again! Hopefully you'll really enjoy this chapter.

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**Chapter Five****: Make a Plan to Love Me**

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I had decided. I was never coming out. Nope, no way. They'd just have to build some sort of trap door so they could send food to me; and while they were at it they should build another bathroom for themselves, 'cause like I said; I was never coming out.

"Casey, come out," Lizzie's voice called from the other side of the door. "Derek was just being stupid. He's a horrible guy! Come on out and we'll ignore him or find things to throw at him. Please?"

"I'm sorry Lizzie," I replied tearfully. "But I can't come out. I'm staying in here."

"But for how long?" she whined.

"Forever." I was being a bit dramatic, true; but hey… look at it from my perspective. Horrible day, and the guy I was risking everything for decided to rub salt in my metaphorical wound. Assisted by his overly happy, overly kind and perfectly perfect Miss. Perfect-face girlfriend. Blah, I could stay in there forever.

"Let me try," I heard my mom's voice cut in. "Casey? Honey? Can you hear me?" she asked, her voice raised quite a bit louder than usual.

"Yeah, mom. I can hear you. I'm not deaf."

"Oh. Okay well, Casey, I think it's about time you came out now. You've been in there for an hour. We let you cool down and have a minute to yourself, but it's getting a little bit… much, don't you think? I know Derek is… insensitive, and rude, but don't let him win by running away. Besides, running away from a problem is never the way to fix it. You know that by now."

"Thanks mom, for the heart-to-heart. But I've made my decision. I'm staying in here, period."

She sighed.

"Casey!" George called. "I understand that you're upset, but like your mom said, this isn't the right way to deal with it… I'm sure you two can work it out if you just talk. Derek is very sorry for what he said, and I promise he'll be punished. Just come out, please."

"Sorry George. You've been very nice to me in the past, and I really appreciate it, but I just can't. Not while that jackass is there, excuse my language. I hope you understand."

"Well I tried," George mumbled, defeated.

"Hey Casey!" Marti's voice squeaked.

"Hey Marti," I smiled, despite my horrible mood. "Have you come to give me some support too?"

"No, but I do want you to come out!" Marti exclaimed. "I gotta go pee!"

"I'm sorry for that, Marti," I replied edgily. "But you'll have to blame your brother for that one. I'm not coming out."

"Casey! Casey, it's Edwin. Come on out! This isn't easy for me to say, cause he'll probably hurt me for it, but Derek's a jerk. I understand that better than anyone! Just come out, please? We're all… worried about you."

"Thank you for your concern, Edwin," I sniffed calmly. "It means a lot. But unfortunately I just can't come out until that… that creature leaves this house for good."

"Should we just send Derek to a boarding school so that Casey will come out?" George asked quietly.

"Hey! I heard that!" Derek's voice exclaimed. "You can't send me to boarding school! That's not fair!"

"Is that Derek?" I gasped. "DEREK, _GO AWAY!_ Your presence is _NOT_ desired here!"

There was a shuffling of feet and his voice became clearer, and much louder. Suddenly there was a rapid banging on the door. "Casey! Open the door, please!" he exclaimed. "I'm sorry. You know it's not easy for me to say that, but I am. I'm really sorry for what I said and I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry I'm so annoying, and I'm sorry for everything else that I'm supposed to be sorry for! Just come out, so we can talk."

"Did Derek just say that?" Mom mumbled, probably to George. "Did you pay or threaten him to apologize and talk to Casey?"

"No, honestly," George replied, his voice heightened in surprise. "Maybe he's just being nice for a change? Don't question it, otherwise he might stop."

"No, you're right. This is good. I'll just be quiet and appreciate it." Her voice rose a bit. "Did you hear that Casey? Derek apologized and wants to talk! That's great, isn't it? Now just open the door, please!"

"Yeah, you know, it would be great, except I don't _care_ about his stupid apology and I don't _want_ to talk to him!" I snapped bitterly.

"Casey, please? Please?" Derek called. He sounded kind of desperate and sad, I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Sorry. You said what you had to say, now I'm doing what I have to do. Besides, why should you care? You hate me, remember?"

"Casey, you know that's not true," he whispered.

"I don't know if I know what I know anymore!"

"What?"

"Never mind. Just go away, please."

"Guys," Mom said soothingly. "Let's give her some more time. Marti, I'll take you next door to use the bathroom there. She'll come out when she's ready."

Talking amongst themselves their voices became quieter and quieter, until they all left. I was alone. A tear trickled down my face. I had never felt more alone in my life.

I played out the conversation that I was anticipating in my head.

"_Derek, I love you."_

"_Ha, Casey… you must be joking right?"_

"_No, no I'm serious. I've never felt this way about anyone. Don't you feel the same way?"_

"_Sorry, Case. That's kind of pathetic. But the truth is, I don't believe in love, remember? But just to let you know, if I did believe in love…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I'd love Sally. Not you."_

Ouch. Now that would hurt. I clutched my stomach with my hands, feeling actual physical pain at that thought. Could a person die from a broken heart? I knew I was being melodramatic, but at the time I almost thought it possible. Tears continued to trickle down my already sticky and warm face, and I wiped them away with the back of my hand, sniffing loudly.

"Case?" I heard Derek's quiet voice from the other side of the door. "Are you crying?"

"No," I said quickly, sniffing again. "What are you doing Derek? Go away. I told you to go away!"

"I… I don't want to leave you alone," Derek said quietly, sweetly. It was too much. It was just too much. I wanted to yell at him so badly; how dare he make me fall more in love with him with every word he said, when all I wanted was to hate him.

The tears just kept on falling and I was worried that a sob would escape, so I stuffed a fist inside my mouth, biting down hard to keep from vocalizing my pain.

"Casey?" he called, but I didn't respond, too busy trying to keep from making a fool of myself. "Okay, well I'm staying here. I'm not moving, until you do. I'm just letting you know that," he said.

It was almost more than I could bare. I cried my silent tears, as I slowly lowered myself to the floor, the guy I loved on the other side of the door, quietly waiting. For me.

……………………………

A couple more hours went by and Derek was still waiting outside. I could tell by the shadows underneath the door that he was sitting, pressed against the wood of the door. He would hum to himself sometimes, songs I didn't recognize. He always listened to the most obscure music… I didn't really mind it, I just had no idea where to start with it all, but Derek knew every band. And from what I heard from some of the stuff he listened to, they had some pretty meaningful lyrics. Derek Venturi was deeper than people gave him credit for. It's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.

I sighed. I was honestly tired of this; tired of sitting in the bathroom, wallowing in my own pain. I wanted to get in my bed and crawl under the covers, but I was stubborn. I wouldn't let Derek win.

Soon the family went to bed, saying their goodnights to Derek on the way. He remarked that he was on guard duty, and that he'd try to convince me to go to bed as best he could. He said that it was his responsibility since he was the one that upset me so much. Actually, he was being surprisingly mature. Stupid Derek and his newfound maturity. He wasn't making this easier on me.

About a half an hour after the others went to sleep, I heard Derek shift uncomfortably outside the door. "Casey," he whined. "Please come out, so we can talk and go to sleep. You don't have to sleep in my bed if you don't want to. You just really need to get some rest; you have school tomorrow. _We_ have school tomorrow."

"Like you even want to go to school," I snorted. "This is a perfect excuse to skip, Derek. Why not take it?"

"This isn't about me," Derek replied. "This is about you… you need to go to school."

"Stop acting like you care, cause obviously you don't."

"What do you mean I don't care?" Derek asked. "Of course I care. Casey," he lowered his voice. "You know how I feel about you. You're my best friend."

I ignored the heartfelt comment. "Besides," I said. "I'm never going to school again."

"You're not serious," Derek scoffed. "Casey McDonald? Wanting to miss school? I don't believe it."

"Why? Because I'm such a keener that I want to get my B+ average up so that I can go to a school that only accepts straight A's? Why don't you go get Sally so you two can tag-team me," I snapped.

Derek sighed. "I'm sorry that I said that to you. I mean it, I am. I didn't mean any of that stuff… I never mean what I say to you, during the day. You know that. I always say rude things to you, I thought you were used to it."

"You're never _that_ mean," I insisted. I lowered my voice to a whisper. "You really crossed a line."

"I know. I know I did. I was just… I was trying to throw Dad and Nora off. After they caught us hugging this afternoon I figured they'd be all suspicious, so I wanted to really go at it with you to invert their suspicions…"

"You mean divert."

"Yeah. But honestly, that's all it was. And I'm sorry I hurt you in the process. You have no idea how sorry I am. I shouldn't have been so mean. I just… I wasn't thinking. I tend to do that a lot, you know," he said quietly. "I talk without thinking. If you haven't noticed."

"Oh believe me, I've noticed."

"Casey, please. Can we just talk?" Four fingers slid under the door and wiggled at me. I couldn't help it. I reached out to touch them in return. I just needed that reassurance, I guess.

I quickly yanked my hand away, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. I didn't forgive him. But I would talk to him. "I'll talk to you," I said. "But through the door."

"Okay," his voice replied. "I guess that's better than nothing."

There was a moment of silence.

"So…" he said. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Honestly," I replied. "I really have nothing to say to you, so you decide. You're the one that wants to talk so bad."

"Okay well… I guess we should start with what's made you so upset. I'm no expert on girls or feelings… or girls with feelings, but I have a suspicion that the incident at dinner isn't the only reason why you're pissed at me."

"Hmmm," I considered. "Could be."

"So what is it then?" he asked quickly. "Please, I really want to get all of this out in the open, I want to make things better."

"Well, since you seem to think you know me so well," I began. "Why don't _you_ try and guess what else is wrong."

"Okay," his voice responded thoughtfully. "I… I'll try. So maybe you're mad at me because… you feel like I kicked you when you were down today."

"Maybe," I replied.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Alright, well maybe you're angry cause what I said to you last night about love bugged you in some way?"

"Maybe," I said reluctantly.

"Okay. Maybe… maybe you're a little jealous of my relationship with Sally… not because you like me or anything," he said quickly, almost as if he was afraid of making me angry. "But because you feel like she's more important to me than you are?"

"You're surprisingly perceptive," I muttered, amazed.

"Okay, another yes then," he said. He paused for several seconds and then finally continued. "I might be totally off base with this one," he said. "But I'll just ask… so don't get pissed at me for asking, okay? Please?"

I laughed a bit, unable to help it. "Okay, agreed," I said. Despite my laughter, a knot was forming in my stomach. I was worried about where this question and answer period was leading to. More than anything though, I was worried that when the time came, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from telling the truth.

"Good…" he paused again, this time almost for a solid minute. I was panicking on the inside, and my palms were getting sweaty. I wiped them on my pants as I swallowed quickly. I wished he would just get on with it. "Maybe…" he said suddenly. "Maybe you're a little bit… a little bit confused…about your feelings for me?" he suggested. "Maybe you're worried that you feel more than you should or that I don't feel the same way, or I couldn't because I have a girlfriend… or… or something," he finished lamely.

I sat in silence, fear and excitement all at once filling me. _What should I do, what should I do, what should I do?_

"Casey?"

"…maybe," I finally responded, quietly. The tears started welling up in my eyes. Oh my God, what did I do? I ruined my friendship with Derek. I ruined the best thing in my life… it was all my fault. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I started to cry, and this time it was not quiet.

"Case," Derek's voice said quietly. "You should open this door. Casey?" he called, more urgently. "Are you crying? Casey, please, open it. Please, can we talk, face to face? I need to… I need to see you."

"I…told…you," I said, in between sobs. "I'm not coming out."

"Can I come in then?" he pleaded. "Please?"

I reached forward from my seat on the closed toilet and pressed the lock on the door. The sobs were starting to subside. "It's… it's open," I said.

The door creaked open, and there was Derek. His hair was unruly, his clothes crumpled, his mouth was turned down in a frown, and his eyes were filled with concern. It wasn't exactly a reassuring sight.

He knelt down, closing the door behind him, so that he was almost my height. I was shaking as he pushed the hair from my face, and for the second time that day, cleared the tears from my eyes with his thumbs. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I gazed into his eyes. It was all I could say.

He pushed me against him, hugging him tight. "Don't be sorry," he finally said. "I'm the one who should be sorry for being an ass."

"But I don't want to lose you as a friend," I insisted. "You're…you're my favourite person," I offered shyly.

"You're never going to lose me as a friend," he scoffed. "And believe it or not, you're my favourite person too. I don't… I don't care about anyone the way I care about you."

"Why?" I whispered, withdrawing myself from the hug, and looking into his eyes.

"Why… what?" he asked.

"Why do you even care about me?" I asked.

"Because Casey," Derek sighed and stood up, brushing a hand through his hair. "Because you're beautiful… in a way that girls aren't beautiful anymore because they try so hard. You just are. And you're smart, and witty and challenging… you're the only person who I feel is my equal, or almost my equal," he cracked a smile. "And you're sweet, and surprisingly kind of funny sometimes. You're an amazing person!" he exclaimed. "Any person would be lucky to be with you."

"Except you," I said quietly, unable to restrain myself from saying it.

"What? What do you mean?" he asked, as he paced around the bathroom.

"Well you obviously don't…" I trailed off.

"Don't? Don't what?"

"Feel… that way… about me," I whispered.

And then he responded in a way I didn't expect.

"Who says I don't?" he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"But I thought…" I started.

"Casey, just because I'm not professing my undying love for you or kissing you does not mean that this…confusion is one-sided," Derek replied quickly. "I'm just as confused as you are, _believe_ me."

My heart rate quickened. "But…" I prodded, biting my lip.

"But… okay, can I be honest?" Derek asked, as he stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bathtub, reaching out for my hand.

"I don't know if I'll like this, but okay…" I said slowly.

"You remember my theory about love? The one that bothered you so much?"

"Yeah, the reason why I failed my Chem test?" I mentioned. "Go on."

He held my hand tighter, his face crumpling in concern. "_That's_ why you failed your test?"

"Busy mind," I said quietly, looking away. I didn't want him to think I was in love with him, even though I was.

"Wow… sorry," he said quietly. "I guess this really is all my fault then."

"Anyways, you were saying?" I cut in briskly.

"Ah right, where was I?"

"You were about to break my heart."

"Casey," Derek scoffed as he leaned closer, stroking my hand with his thumb. "Don't be so dramatic, I'm not going to break your heart, or anything."

"So, go on," I sighed.

"Fine, well… my love theory. I still believe that, you know? And to be honest… to be brutally honest, and this is how much I care about you, telling you this, cause I'm _never_ this honest with a girl I'm… interested in. But you're not like all the other girls."

"Oh thanks," I replied sarcastically.

"No!" he said, an amused smile stretching across his face. "In a good way! You're… you're special, Casey McDonald. You're beautiful, you're smart… okay, I've gone over your good points already. Basically you're the perfect woman."

"Um, thanks," I said blushingly. "And the problem is…"

"No guy wants to have a fling with the perfect woman!" Derek exclaimed. "You're not the kind of girl a guy dates just for fun. You're the kind of girl a guy gets really serious about, because you're _that_ amazing, and you deserve it. And as much as I'd like to be that guy for you, I'm not… I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"It would be a different story if I believed in love," he continued quickly. "Then I'd probably just end up falling in love with you and it wouldn't matter if I was ready or not. I'd have to be with you. But…" he trailed off, as he leaned over, trying to catch my eye so that we could make eye contact. "I don't. So… we can't. Plus, with the whole step-sibling thing it would have to be really serious to be worth the freak-out we'd get from our parents, you know."

"Yeah, I know," I said, standing up.

"So… you understand?" he asked.

"Yeah, I understand," I replied, trying to seem uncaring by shrugging.

"Great," he smiled a bit awkwardly, and stood as well, pulling me into his arms so that he could hug me close. As he stroked my back, I considered whether I should ask the question that was on my mind. _Oh what the hell. I might as well ask now_, I figured. "Derek? Can I ask you something?"

"Uh huh."

"You know what you said earlier? About me being worried that Sally is more important to you than me?"

"Yeah?"

"So… is she?"

"No," he snorted a laugh. "Of course not. I told you, Case. I don't care about anyone the way I care about you."

"Okay…" I said slowly as we withdrew from the hug. "So… if you had to choose who to be with on a deserted island, you'd pick…"

"You every time, Case," Derek grinned.

"Good answer," I said with a slight laugh. He opened the door and we wandered slowly down the hall. "So," I stopped at my door. "This is me."

He turned to me, an eyebrow raised. "You don't honestly think I'm letting you sleep anywhere but my bed right?"

"But _Derek_…"

"Don't _Derek_ me," he grinned, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along towards his room. We stopped as we reached his door and he let go of my hand, instead reaching up and with both of his hands, tucked my hair behind my ears. His face moved closer to mine then, his voice low and slightly raspy as he tried to whisper. "You don't honestly think I'm losing my cuddle-buddy right?" His face lit up in a smile to match mine, and without moving away, he pushed open the door to his room.

…

**Next chapter**: Derek doesn't believe in love, but Casey is determined to prove to him that it exists. With her. A kiss is the perfect solution right? He'll fall in love with her after a kiss. But getting Derek to kiss her is surprisingly harder than Casey thought.

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A/N: Yes it was a long one. But hopefully you guys enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm hoping the next chapter will be pretty interesting too… so please review, and motivate me to write it quickly! Reviews are treasured dearly.


	6. Chapter Six: I Can't Help Myself

**Delicate**

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A/N: Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews! They mean absolutely everything to me, so if you're able to review, I'd really appreciate it… keep them coming! The next couple of chapters are going to be a little more light-hearted, because we just had 3 super angsty chapters in a row… and because I felt like it! So I hope you guys enjoy them all the same, and still recognize in the more humorous light-hearted chapters the same heartfelt friendship and longing that I tried to convey throughout the previous chapters so far. Enjoy! Chapter title is a song by Vaughan Penn.

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**Chapter Six:**** I Can't Help Myself**

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There are many things you could call me; a brain, yes; a drama queen, maybe a little; a perfectionist; always. But a _quitter_? No, definitely not. Y'see, I blame it all on my upbringing. Growing up, I've always really looked up to my dad; if he told me to do something, you better believe I did it. Whenever I had a problem, I'd go to him for advice and he'd impart little pearls of wisdom on me. One of the most important things he taught me is to be independent. In this world you'll have people who care about you, but in the end, you have to look out for yourself. And if there's something you want, something you feel you deserve, then it's important for _you_ to go out there and get it—don't wait around and hope it comes to you.

That night of the "bathroom incident" as Derek would so eloquently put it, I decided. I wanted Derek Venturi to see the light and return my feelings, and instead of simply waiting, I'd make it happen.

The very next day, I began to strategize. Not on paper, of course, though I was itching to make a pro's and con's list for some different ideas I had. I'd learned the hard way that writing down things (even secret operations) that you didn't want people to find was _never_ a good idea. I brainstormed inwardly and then, in an instant, it came to me. I'd find a way to get Derek to kiss me! Yeah… it was perfect. In movies, kisses always changed things. From my own experience they somewhat did too. So here was the plan: I'd get Derek to kiss me… somehow (note to self: work on that part of the plan) and then BAM! He'd fall in love with me, and tell me that he was ready for a serious relationship. It was a flawless plan.

The only problem was, I never anticipated how hard it would be to get Derek 'Ladies' Man' Venturi to kiss me.

Attempt number One; about a week after 'The Bathroom Incident', I was in Derek's room one night. That was the scene of my first unfortunate misstep. Literally.

The target was at his computer at about midnight, finishing up an assignment that was due the following day, while I lounged on his bed, bragging that I had already completed mine a week ago. It was your average night.

I stood up then, stretching an exaggerated yawn as he glanced over, bemused. Shaking his head, he returned to typing up a report on the World Wars as I slowly wandered about his room, looking at different items.

I spotted a box underneath several layers of dirty clothes. I bent down, brushing a hockey jersey away. Ooh, what's this?

"Don't touch that."

I stood up quickly, and glanced around innocently. Never mind, I'd snoop another day. I glanced at Derek subtly out of the corner of my eye; still typing away, a confused expression clouding up his face.

Here was my chance. I took a wrong step, making sure I tripped over a pair of sneakers, and down I went.

"Ow!" I cried out, holding my knee.

Derek rushed to my side. He was so cute when he was concerned. "What did you do?" he asked, as he pulled me upwards, placing me on his bed.

"Why do you assume I did something?" I snapped, annoyed. "It was your stupid shoes, lying in the middle of the stupid floor where anyone could trip over them!"

"Well you shouldn't have been snooping around then, huh?" he scolded, a small smirk playing on his lips.

I pouted, letting out a whimper for effect. "I hurt my knee," I explained, as if he wasn't already aware by the way I was clutching it.

"Let me see that," he said, moving my hand away.

"I think it's going to bruise," I sighed.

"I'm sorry you got hurt, Space Case," Derek said with a sympathetic smile as he rubbed my knee, comfortingly.

"Would you do me a favour?" I asked sweetly.

"What's that?"

"Kiss it better?" Derek's eyebrows shot up and his mouth twisted into an amused smirk, but he leaned over giving my knee a gentle kiss.

"There," he said. _Damn, lucky knee._

The moment of truth. "That's not the only place I injured myself," I said sadly.

"Oh no?"

"Right here," I pointed at my lips, as I gazed in the direction of the door (anywhere but at his face). I sighed sadly.

"You… landed on your mouth…?"

I nodded glumly. "Unfortunately it's true," I chanced a glance at him, and he didn't look concerned as much as deeply amused. "So what are you going to do about it?" I smiled shyly at him, leaning a bit closer as I gazed at his full moist lips. Mmm.

He lifted a hand and brought two fingers to his lips, kissing them quickly and then placing them against my half-open mouth. "There," he said happily. "All better. Now, back to that essay. They don't write themselves you know, though I wish they did."

"_Crap_," I hissed to myself as I snapped my fingers.

"What was that Case?"

"I was saying… er… good luck… chap." I laughed awkwardly.

………………………

It was time for Attempt Two. And this time I decided to use some holiday incentive… who could say no to mistletoe?

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree… how lovely are your branches," I sang softly to myself as I hung a wreath on the front door. If I was going to do this mistletoe thing, I needed some other decorations too; just so it wouldn't be _too_ obvious. I could be subtle if I wanted.

"Casey," George's voice called from behind me. "You do know Christmas isn't for over a month, right?"

"Yes I do, George," I responded brightly. "But it's never too early for Christmas cheer! Besides, it's one less thing to have to worry about in the busy Christmas season!"

"Uh… right," he mumbled something about trees not being in season yet as he wandered away.

I hung the mistletoe right in the passageway between the dining room and the kitchen. There was no way that Derek could avoid it in such an obvious location. My plan was genius.

That night I cleverly convinced Derek to go for a milk and cookies run with me. We made our way down the stairs and into the kitchen, eating and drinking somewhat quickly so that we wouldn't get caught. As we left, I made sure I was walking in pace with him.

"What was that sound?" I asked suddenly, and he paused alongside me, listening closely.

"I don't hear anything," he whispered.

"Oh… it must have been the wind," I replied innocently. "Hey," I placed my hand on his arm and motioned upwards. "Look."

"Ah, the mistletoe," Derek nodded with a grin. "I heard something about you spreading Christmas cheer today from Dad. You _do_ know Christmas isn't for over a month right?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I whispered impatiently. "Is it so wrong to want to try and help out our family by getting things done early? I don't think so!"

"Right," Derek laughed, reaching upwards to scratch his messy mop of hair. "So anyways, to bed we go…"

"Wait," I stopped him quickly. "We're under the mistletoe."

"So?"

"So… it's tradition," I said lightly. "And you _know_ how important tradition is to me."

"Do I ever," Derek smirked. "Alright, well…" he laced his hands around my waist, drawing me closer as I smiled serenely up at him. This was it. Our moment. "Merry Christmas," he whispered. I closed my eyes, and felt his warm breath against my face.

And then it was all over.

"A kiss on the cheek?!" I exclaimed angrily.

"Shh," Derek hushed me as he made his way over to the staircase. "Keep your voice down. Come on, let's go to bed. I'm getting sleepy."

Sighing angrily, I followed.

……………………

It was getting a bit ridiculous; I had to admit. Chasing some guy around, trying to get him to kiss me, all in the hopes that he'd feel something for me similar to what I felt for him. But, the problem was, Derek wasn't just some guy. So for that, I decided to try just one more tiny little plan. Doesn't the saying go 'third time's the charm', anyhow?

It was perfect timing; George and mom had planned a dinner-date and insisted that Derek and I would watch Lizzie, Edwin and Marti for the evening.

I spent most of the night taking care of the kids while Derek played his role by not even caring enough to help. Finally, 10 o'clock came around and I had sent the kids to bed. My guests would arrive at any moment.

First Emily appeared, and then Sam and Ralphie. I'd used the premise that Derek had been really down lately and needed some friends to cheer him up. I told them to come over to watch movies and eat junk food, all along not caring about either. I had a more… intriguing activity planned.

I knocked on Derek's door, and let myself in before he could answer.

"Kids asleep?" he asked quickly from his spot on his bed.

I nodded, wordlessly, my palms sweating. Tonight was the night. We'd finally kiss, and I'd get the fairy tale realization I'd been dreaming about.

Derek grinned. "Good thinking, getting them in bed early. Now come to bed so that I can reward you…" he arched an eyebrow.

As intrigued as I was, I shook my head with a happy smile. "Nope. Come downstairs, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise huh?" he smirked, standing up quickly. "Well, lead the way. It's not more mistletoe right?"

"Not exactly," I replied triumphantly as we made our way down the stairs, to a chorus of greetings from our friends.

"What's…going…on...?" Derek asked, turning first to his friends and then to me, utterly baffled.

"Man, sorry to hear you've been depressed lately," Ralphie said quickly, coming forward to slap a comforting hand on Derek's back. "But we are _her_e to brighten your day, right guys?!"

"Yeah!" Emily exclaimed with a bright smile.

"Sure," Sam agreed.

"Listen guys," Derek began. "I don't know which _idiot_ told you that I was depressed but…"

I reached behind my back, pinching Derek on the arm. "But depressed isn't exactly the word." I continued. "He's more melancholy. Now, Derek…" I turned to him. "I realize that it's a bit difficult right now, being that you're so…"

"Melancholy?" he offered, an amused smile twisting up the corners of his mouth.

"Yes. _Melancholy_. But your friends are here to offer friendship and support. I _strongly_ recommend that you take them up on such an offer."

"Uh, sure. Why not," Derek smiled stiffly.

"Great!" Ralphie exclaimed and the guests took their seats on the couches.

Derek grinned awkwardly in their direction and turned to me with a whispered hiss. "_I know you're up to something_."

I smiled brightly in return. "You're welcome Derek. So, everyone, what shall we do first?"

"We could watch a movie?" Emily offered.

"Oh yeah, I brought over that new romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore in it!" Ralphie exclaimed. After receiving a look of utter confusion and in some cases, disgust, from everyone present, he continued. "What?! She's a hottie!"

"Hey, Casey, are those Christmas decorations?" Emily asked.

"Isn't Christmas a month away or something?" Sam inquired.

"It's a long story," I sighed.

"And a strange one," Derek smirked.

"So yeah," I cut in suddenly. "I think we should play Spin the Bottle."

"What, with so few people?" Derek asked, his eyebrows raised.

_Better odds for me._ "It'll be fun!" I insisted. "And besides, you guys might luck out and get to see a girl on girl kiss." Emily and I laughed, but the guys were intrigued.

"What are we waiting for?!" Ralphie exclaimed. "Let's get that bottle!"

I produced a bottle from underneath the couch, holding it up, an expression of shock on my face. "Oh my! Look what I found!"

"What a _coincidence_," Derek smirked.

I ignored the sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I know!" I exclaimed.

"So… let's spin this thing!" Ralphie grinned.

I smiled triumphantly. "Derek, why don't you go first?"

He spun the bottle quickly, and then remarked "Just so you know, I'm not kissing any of the guys. Every time a guy spins, the other guys should step out of the circle."

"Fine by me," Sam agreed and Ralphie nodded with disgust.

_Excellent, my chances would be made even greater._

The bottle landed on Emily. Damn it.

Derek leaned forward as he and Emily awkwardly laughed. They pecked quickly. "Hey, it's not like that was the first time," he remarked with a grin. What did he mean by that?! Note to self: interrogate Emily later.

She spun the bottle and it landed on Ralphie, who spun it and it landed back on her. Emily spun it one more time and it landed on Sam.

Finally when it was his turn, the bottle landed on me. Oh well, it wasn't as if I hadn't done this before. I leaned over and we kissed lightly.

"My turn!" I announced brightly. Derek stood up then, making his way into the kitchen. "Where're you going?!" I asked, in a panic.

"Getting a drink," he announced.

"But… we're playing…" I turned to the others. "Rules are very important to me," I explained quickly.

"Well it doesn't matter, he's your step-brother so it would be weird right?" Sam asked.

My heart sank. "Right," I sighed. I spun the bottle half-heartedly and it landed on the spot that Derek was supposed to be in. _Here's to cruel irony._

"Hey, it's closest to me!" Ralphie exclaimed.

Kissing him was just a side-dish to my misery.

………………

A couple of hours later, I was lying sideways on Derek's bed as he busied himself brushing his teeth in the bathroom. This whole charade was pathetic. He was probably laughing at me at that moment, reminiscing about all the ways I had made a fool of myself the past few days. It was certainly obvious that he didn't want to kiss me; I'd given him every opportunity in the world to, short of begging, and still he never did.

I begun to make a pro-con list in my head. The pro's to not kissing Derek were; no family complications, no unnecessary explanations, no awkwardness, no horrible break-up. The con's to not kissing Derek were; well… not kissing Derek. I sighed.

"Making a pro-con list in your head again?" Derek's voice inquired.

I glanced up from my misery and smiled weakly. "You know me so well."

He flicked off the light and removed his shirt, leaving only his boxer-shorts on. What a cruel individual. Lifting up the covers, he settled in on his side of the bed. "So," he said suddenly. "What was the list about tonight?"

"Nothing that would interest you," I said sadly.

"Was it… a pro-con list for having Christmas all year long?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Hm…was it… a pro-con list for getting a restraining order against Ralphie?"

I laughed a bit, unable to help it. "_No_," I said in a scolding tone.

"Was it… a pro-con list for kissing your favourite step-brother?" he asked quickly.

"How…how did you know?!" I asked, utterly baffled.

Derek chuckled lightly. "I can read you like a book, McDonald."

"Oh yeah?" I turned around quickly then, just barely able to make out his features in the dark. "What am I thinking now then?"

"De-_REK_!" he screeched.

I lunged forward, smacking him on the arm. "Not funny," I laughed. "No, really. I want to see how accurate you are."

"Hmm… okay…" he responded thoughtfully as he reached forward, placing his arms around my waist. He leaned closer, and as he responded his voice deepened, like it always did when he was trying to be quiet. "You're thinking that you want me to kiss you," he said.

I nodded slowly, smiling at him. "So? What are you waiting for?" I whispered eagerly.

He paused. "The right moment," he said.

"Huh?"

"Casey… I'm not going to kiss you," he explained. I tried to move away, but he pulled me closer to him. "Don't get mad," he said quickly. "It's not that I don't want to but…"

"It's because of Sally isn't it?" I sighed.

"Nah, I mean… somewhat," he replied. "But it's more that I don't think we should force things. I think we should just take our time and if a kiss happens then it happens, you know?"

"I understand," I said slowly.

"So why do you want to kiss me so bad anyway?" he asked with a smirk.

"I just wanted to see what it would be like," I lied.

He nodded in response. "I get that."

"So how long have you known? That I've been trying to get you to kiss me?" I asked curiously.

"Oh," he laughed. "Since you tried to get me to kiss your mouth better."

"You knew all this time?!" I exclaimed, genuinely shocked. "Why didn't you say any of this before?"

"And ruin your plans to try to get me to kiss you?" Derek scoffed. "Not a chance. It provided me with some solid entertainment the past few days," he chuckled. "And," he reached up, smoothing down my hair. "You were pretty adorable."

"I thought I was being subtle," I whined.

"Casey, you are many things, but subtle is not one of them," Derek replied with a grin. "And that's one of the things I love best about you."

………………

**Next chapter:** Derek keeps fighting with Sally, then making up, then fighting again. The worst part of it all is that he keeps whining about it to Casey. When she decides she's had enough she plans to make Derek jealous with a date of her own. But will stubborn Derek Venturi _ever_ admit to being jealous?!

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A/N: Hah, Casey is so much fun to write. Poor little Casey. Please review! Reviews equal love!! Spread the love!


	7. Chapter Seven: Who Do You Love?

**Delicate**

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A/N: Okay so this is a pretty long chapter, so I'll keep this author's note short. Thank you all so, so much for the amazing reviews! I love you all to pieces. Reviews are love and if you want to make my day, review me! I'll love you forever. I'm really excited for the next chapter so hopefully I'll get that to you super soon… yay! Chapter title is a song by Ted Leo & the Pharmacists.

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**Chapter Seven****: Who Do You Love?**

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Now while it's true that I'm maybe not Sally's biggest fan in the world, I've always been very cordial to her. I've responded to her if she asks a direct question, I've smiled at her—_occasionally_, I've (reluctantly) allowed her to sit next to Derek at dinner almost every night, and I don't lunge across the room to ring her bony neck whenever she kisses Derek goodnight. (Okay, so maybe I've spied a few times with Edwin and Lizzie, but so what? It's my house too!) The point is, I've always been polite and accepting. Never once have I rubbed in Sally's face that he prefers me to her, mostly because that would be giving away a major secret, but also because that's _rude_.

However, what I don't appreciate is having _my_ face rubbed in the fact that Derek is with Sally, and not _me_. It's bad enough that I have to see her every day after school; the situation only gets more frustrating when I have to hear Derek whine about his problems. I enjoy sharing. I enjoy listening. I especially enjoy giving advice. But what I don't enjoy is listening to Derek complain about precious, perfect Sally. I guess I'm the only one he has to turn to since Derek obviously doesn't show his sensitive side to anyone but me. But give a girl a break.

Now those two fight a lot. But they also make up rather quickly—I don't even really want to know what they do while making up, but what I would like to know is what they keep fighting about. Derek babbles on about how it's always the same argument over and over again, and how Sally can't let go of something. But what? Even though my curiosity tempts me to find out just what exactly they fight about, I can't stand to listen to him ramble and complain about Sally any longer.

"Do you know how it feels?" I blurted one day, "To hear you go on and on about the same thing every second night? Especially when that one thing is your girlfriend?"

Derek flinched and something—was that _hurt_?—flashed across his face. "Sorry my problems are boring to you, Case," he shifted around and pulled his comforter up around his shoulders. "I won't bother you again."

I sighed. "You're not, it's just—"

"Who else am I supposed to talk to about this stuff? Sam? My dad? Edwin? I don't think so."

"I hear Sir Monks-a-lot is a good listener," I offered with a weak laugh.

He was silent.

"I'm sorry," I whined. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad… you know you can always talk to me about anything. We're best friends, first and foremost. It's just, you can understand why it bothers me right? I don't… I don't like to think about you with another girl."

Derek sat up in his bed. "You see Sally and I together every day."

"Yeah, but do you think that's easy for me? Cause it isn't. It hurts. And," I continued quickly. "I understand your reasoning for us to not be together. I'm okay with being your friend, and though I won't lie and say I'm happy about it, I get that you're going to date other girls. But, that doesn't mean I'm not going to get jealous sometimes."

Derek's face brightened into a smug grin. "You're jealous?"

"Well… yeah. Of course I am. Wouldn't you be jealous if I dated another guy right in front of you?"

"Nah," Derek shrugged, laying back down. "I don't get jealous."

"Derek Venturi!" I exclaimed. "That is a lie and you know it! Of course you get jealous. Everyone's jealous _sometime_; it's a perfectly natural human emotion."

"Yeah, for other suckers who worry too much and think that everything is the end of the world—" he paused and glanced at me. "No offence."

"Wha… I… that…" I tried to speak but nothing coherent came out.

"Luckily," he continued. "I'm not one of them. If you haven't noticed, my laid-back demeanour leaves me very little room for worry and stress, which causes jealousy. Nope. I'm not the jealous type."

"I don't believe you!" I exclaimed, finally able to string a sentence together. "What if your girlfriend flirted with another guy?"

"Get a new girlfriend," he smirked.

"What if your best friend started hanging out with someone else instead of you?"

"Get a new best friend."

"_What if_ you liked a girl, but she liked someone else?"

"Never happens," Derek shrugged. "Nope, never. I always get what I want with girls. And I mean always. But, if in some alternate universe it did happen, I'd just find someone else to like."

"You're _infuriating_!" I exclaimed angrily.

"And cuddly," he grinned at my annoyance, grabbing me for a hug.

…………………

Now, I don't get stubborn about proving a point very often—okay, scratch that. Maybe I do. And this situation was no different. Derek Venturi needed to be knocked down a few pegs. He needed to learn that jealousy is natural, and that it does _not_ feel especially pleasant. Mostly, he needed to see what it was like to be me.

I marched up to Tinker and tapped him on the shoulder, Friday afternoon. "Hey," I gave him my most charming smile. "How's the project for Mr. Haskell's class?" I asked.

He dropped his books, and scrambled to pick them up. "G-good," he replied nervously. "How's yours?"

"Fine," I smiled. "So…" I didn't exactly make a practice out of asking guys on random dates. "Do you want to hang out tomorrow night? A group of us are going to Smelly Nelly's for an open mike night. I thought you might like to check it out!"

"I…I'd love to!" he exclaimed. "You _will_ be there right?"

I laughed. "Of course! Oh Tinker," I touched his arm. "You're hilarious. Pick me up at 7?"

"Sure… bye Casey!" he called after me as I made my way down the hall. Success.

I smirked at Derek who was leaning against his locker, his arms crossed over his chest. He'd witnessed the whole thing. "Lurking in the shadows again?" I asked with a coy smile.

He simply arched an eyebrow in response.

………………………

"So, Case," Derek said as he shrugged himself into his leather jacket. "Will I see you crazy kids tonight?"

"Luckily for you, yeah. You will," I smiled triumphantly from my place on the couch. "We'll be coming 'round at about 7."

"Who's the motley crew you've assembled this time?" he asked.

"Hmm, Em, Sam, Ralphie… Sam's new girlfriend Shannon. Oh. And Tink," I grinned.

Derek's eyebrows furrowed. "What is it? Like… a triple date?"

"Oh, something like that I guess," I sighed happily as I leaned back on the couch. "But don't worry, we won't bother you. If you want, we don't even have to sit in your section."

"No, it's fine. Sit in my section, I don't care."

And with that, he was out the door without another word. Ah, to be in control for once. It felt all kinds of wonderful. Bells were ringing, almost like a chorus of church bells. _Hallelujah_. Oh wait, that was just the door bell.

"Tink," I greeted him. "Welcome. Here, I'll get my coat."

"You look… you look beautiful tonight, Casey," he said kindly.

"Aw, thanks Tink. You're sweet. So, let's go… we don't want to keep the others waiting!" I said brightly.

"The… the others?" he looked confused.

"Yeah, I mentioned that right? We're meeting a bunch of people there. Kind of a group thing, you know?"

"Oh."

"Come on!" I exclaimed, smiling as I led him outside. "It'll be fun! I promise. And hey, the best part is… Derek's working! So we get to boss him around for once!"

Tinker laughed. "Awesome."

……………………

"Derek!" Ralphie exclaimed as a certain messy-haired waiter approached. "Happy to see us?"

"Friends," Derek grinned. "And Casey." I rolled my eyes. "No, not really all that happy. Now what can I get you guys?"

Everyone gave their orders, and finally he approached me, pad and pencil in hand. "Case?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Hm… Derek waiting on me," I smiled thoughtfully. "I could get used to this."

"You say that every time you come here," he replied dully.

"Yes, yes I do… now what will I get tonight…?"

"Tick-tock, the offer expires in five seconds. Spit it out, café queen."

"Hm… a grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon. Stirred please."

He grunted a response as he scribbled the order down and I smiled brightly in response.

"Hello everyone, I'm Sally, and welcome to our first ever open mike night!" Sally exclaimed into the microphone, to a polite round of applause. "Up first we have Richard Smith singing a folk song on his guitar!" Again, everyone clapped politely.

"Well this should be hilarious," Ralphie smirked at Sam. "If the performers start to suck we can throw packs of sugar at them."

"Casey, remember when Sheldon sang at the battle of the bands last year?" Emily sighed. "He was such a natural."

"Miss him huh?" I replied sympathetically, giving my best friend's arm a squeeze.

"That obvious?" she smiled stiffly. "I miss him, but I also miss being in a relationship you know?"

"I know the feeling," I sighed, putting a comforting arm around her.

"Sheldon was awesome," Tinker cut in. "But Casey was great too! A total rocker chick."

"Hah, thanks Tinker… but I think my singing career is over for now. It looks like D-Rock is doing fine without me." My eyes instantly traveled over to Derek; he was whispering something to Sally as she threw back her head and laughed. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Hey speaking of D-Rock, remember when I busted them for performing in the cafeteria, and Casey got detention too?" Tinker asked.

"Oh yeah!" Emily exclaimed. "That was classic. But that wasn't as bad as the one time that Casey made up a story about her dog dying to get out of a science project!" she laughed.

"I remember hearing about that!" Tinker agreed. "But what about that one time when she played that prank on Derek but it went wrong and she almost got him kicked out of school?"

"Guys," I interrupted. "As amusing as this… slightly _embarrassing_ trip down memory lane is I…"

"Oh, I don't know if you remember, but right when Casey moved here, she fell down an entire flight of stairs and landed on some guy's butt! That's when she got her 'Klutzilla' nickname!" Emily laughed.

"Ah, fond memories," Derek cut in as he delivered our drink order around the table. "Hot drinks coming through."

"What is this, 'Laugh at Casey day'?" I sniped.

"That's everyday in my world," Derek smirked as he placed a drink down in front of me. "A medium black coffee. Enjoy."

"Hey!" I called after him as he sauntered away. "I didn't order that! Come back here! I… _I know where you live_!" I huffed, as I returned to my seat, reluctantly taking a drink of my disgustingly plain coffee.

"Remember that one time when Casey made a fool out of herself yelling at her step-brother in the middle of a crowded place?" Emily suggested with a smile.

"Which time?" Tinker replied, and they both burst into throes of laughter.

…………………………………

Okay, so my plan wasn't exactly successful so far. Derek wasn't even remotely jealous; in fact, he kind of ranged in between amused and busy—busy flirting with Sally that is. Not to mention, my 'date' and my best friend were spending most of the night recounting hilariously embarrassing stories starring yours truly. Nope, if this night was going to have any success, I was going to have to kick it up a notch.

A relaxing female singer was on stage, singing in-tune as she strummed a guitar. Ralphie and Sam were enraptured; they couldn't take their eyes off her.

"Come on Tink," I said, as I stood up, extending my hand to him. "Let's dance."

"B-but… no one else is dancing, Casey," he replied nervously.

"So? We'll start a trend," I smiled encouragingly at him, and pulled him onto the dance floor. I placed his hands upon my waist and wrapped my arms around his neck, as we started swaying to the music. Gradually several more couples began to join us, and I glanced over at Derek, who was eyeing us with a stony expression on his face.

I danced a little closer to Tinker then, smoothing down his hair with my hand and smiled at him. Over his shoulder I could see Derek; standing still behind the counter, simply watching us. He wore no expression on his face, but I knew. He was jealous.

Suddenly his eyes connected with mine, and almost immediately he turned on his heel and walked away. I shrugged and continued to dance with Tinker. Let Derek stew in his own jealousy for once. Just as I was happily imagining his heartfelt apology to me that evening, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Derek?"

"Casey, you need to come with me," he said, his voice low.

"What? No!" I exclaimed. "I'm dancing, right Tink?"

"Uh, you can go if you need to…" he said, eyeing Derek in terror.

"Nora called and she needs me to give you a message," he said through gritted teeth. "Come with me now, please."

I sighed. "Sorry Tinker… you know how lame step-brothers can be." I followed Derek through the crowd and into the staff room. He closed the door behind us, standing with his back to the door so that he'd be blocking the way if anyone tried to enter. "What is wrong with you?" I rolled my eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" he hissed. "What about you? The way you're acting out there…"

I smiled coyly. "You know, for someone who claims he never gets jealous, you're doing a bad job of it."

"What?" He raised his eyebrows. "You think _I'm_ jealous?"

"No," I said happily. "I _know_ you're jealous. Why else would you pull me aside in the middle of a slow dance with another guy?"

"Casey," Derek shook his head. "I did that because I wanted to talk to you. It's not about jealousy… why would I _ever_ be jealous of Tinker?" he grimaced.

"Because… because he's on a date with me?" I offered lamely, beginning to feel like my plan hadn't exactly worked after all.

"Okay, but that's not exactly threatening," Derek pointed out. "I mean, it's Tinker. If you wanted a guy to make me jealous, at least choose someone that I could see you with," Derek smirked. "I know you don't like Tinker."

I sighed. "I just keep on making a fool of myself lately in front of you, don't I?" I said sadly.

"Yep. I mean…" he reached out to hold my hand. "No. You're not making a… _total_ fool of yourself. Just, Tinker's a nice kid. Don't use him like that."

"You're right," I frowned. "I'm a horrible person! I used someone, Derek. And it didn't even work. I'm a user _and_ a failure!"

"Casey, relax," he stroked the palm of my hand with his thumb. "I just wanted to pull you aside to let you know that you don't need to _try_ to make me jealous."

I paused. "I don't?"

"No. Okay, I don't admit things like this easily… with my tough guy rep and all, plus… you know, guys aren't supposed to care too much, but… if you were with another guy, I would be jealous. Okay?"

"Okay," I smiled, as I stepped closer to him, taking his other hand in mine as well.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked me, as he stepped away from the door, closer to me.

"Of course."

"I was… a bit jealous tonight," he admitted. "But not because of you and Tinker. Because he got to dance with you in public," he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "And I can't."

"Aw," I smiled slightly, lifting my hand up to place my palm against his cheek. "That's sweet. I'll tell you what, I'll dance with you sometime in your room."

He grinned, placing his hands on my hips and drawing me closer. "Is that a promise?"

"Sure," I slowly removed my hand from his face.

He leaned forward then, whispering in my ear. "Can I tell you another secret?" he breathed, his breath hot against my skin.

I nodded, wordlessly.

He moved even closer; if that was possible, his lips practically grazing my earlobe. "I _really_ want to kiss you, right now."

I bit my lip thoughtfully as he slowly pulled back, simultaneously cupping my flushed cheek with his hand, gently stroking the skin with the tip of his index finger. I had a close-up view of his eyelids then, his lashes fluttering as he moved closer, now. His breath was warm and inviting, his lips looked moist as if they were screaming to be tasted.

This was it; my moment. The kiss that I had been trying to achieve for weeks, but in reality, months… ever since the first night we connected I'd wanted this kiss.

Here I was, every dream I'd ever had about to come true, but something… something just did not feel right.

"Stop," I whispered, his lips an inch from mine. He did as I asked, and slowly pulled back, his eyes blinking and then opening. He looked hurt, confused.

I took his hands in mine, wanting him to understanding, needing him to understand. "You have a girlfriend," I stated softly, tears welling up in my eyes.

He nodded in response, his gaze downcast. "Yeah," he said. He was only speaking in a normal volume, but after the whispered secrets and hushed reminders it seemed loud and shocking. His voice practically echoed.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said, reaching up to touch his face again. "You know how much I've wanted to… you know. But I can't be… I can't be the other woman."

He looked up at me, and I shrugged helplessly as if to say '_what can I do_?' I had a conscience, as much as sometimes (like now) I wish I didn't.

"Casey," he said, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. "You'll never be the other woman. You'll always be _the_ woman."

He turned then, and left me to my mixed-up thoughts.

…………………

About twenty minutes later, I finally left the staff-room to find Tinker sitting alone at a table.

"Hey," I said, and sat down across from him. "Sorry about that. There was…" I paused. "A family thing. Where'd everybody go?"

"That's hard to say," Tinker replied. "Emily's in the ladies' room but as for Sam and Ralphie… I think they took Sam's girlfriend and that female folk singer out for coffee."

I smiled. "Good for them. Listen Tinker, I want to apologize…"

"For what?" he raised his eyebrows.

"For… okay, I feel really bad for admitting this, but for kind of… using you. This wasn't a real date, I was just trying to make… _someone_ jealous."

"Derek?" he asked.

I was speechless in horror. "How did you know?!" I asked quickly.

"You're going to have to work on your response if someone accuses you in the future," Tinker said with a half-smile. "You didn't even deny it! But it's kind of obvious Casey. I can see the way he looks at you… the way you look at him."

"Oh," I sighed. "Do you think it's _too_ obvious?"

Tinker shrugged. "I doubt it. I'm just a keen observer of human behavior, that's all. I'm thinking of becoming a psychiatrist."

"Well that's cool," I smiled. "Can we keep this between us? Derek and I aren't exactly ready for the whole world to know about us yet. At this point I'm not even sure myself what 'us' is."

"Of course," he agreed. "I won't tell a soul."

"Thanks," I replied, relieved. "So… forgive me?"

"Of course," he grinned. "It was awesome just hanging out. And actually… I asked out your friend Emily. We're going to a movie tomorrow night. Is that okay?"

I laughed. "Tinker! Of course that's okay! I'm happy for you guys, really."

"Thanks," he grinned, and Emily suddenly arrived from the bathroom.

"Hey, Case," she greeted. "Everything okay? Derek said you were lying down in the staff room because you didn't feel well."

"Oh, I'm… I'm fine now," I replied.

"Well, this place is practically deserted," she pointed out as she glanced around. "I think it's almost closing time. We should probably get out of here."

"Yeah, I'll give you girls a ride home," Tinker offered, as he stood up.

"No, you know what? You two go ahead. I'll blackmail Derek into giving me a ride or something," I insisted.

"You sure?"

"Of course! Have fun guys."

They said their goodbyes and left, as I made my way outside to wait for Derek by the front entrance of the restaurant, bouncing around to keep from freezing from the cold. However, suddenly I heard voices. Was that Derek?

"You're making a big deal out of nothing!" he insisted loudly.

"Nothing?" Sally's voice scoffed. "It's not nothing. You're totally into her!"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Admit it Derek. Admit you like her." My eyes widened and I strained harder to listen.

"No, you know what? It's pointless. We have this same argument almost every day, and I'm getting sick of it. I'm sick of denying it, because no matter what I say, you're never going to accept it. Why do I even bother?"

"Why do _you_ bother? Why do _I_ bother when I know I'm never going to measure up to her in your eyes?!"

"Whatever."

"Don't _whatever_ me, Derek Venturi. I've seen the way you look at your _step-sister_ and it makes me sick. You can't tell me I'm crazy or I'm making all this up in my head. _You said what you did_; and now everyday when I see you with Casey it becomes more obvious that I'm right."

………………

**Next chapter**: Casey, Derek and Sally all go to the same party. Major disaster right? Well arguments, witnessed make-ups and a very drunk Casey seem to spell disaster. And a surprise ending to the chapter that you won't expect.

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A/N: Like I said before, I'm extremely excited to write the next chapter, so please review away so that I can write it and upload it! Sorry this chapter was slightly long, but there was a lot of plot to cover. Just to let you know, this chapter takes place in mid-December. Oh and fyi, you'll find out what Derek said to Sally eventually. Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter Eight: Endlessly

**Delicate**

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A/N: Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews! They mean so much. Okay, I was going to upload this chapter yesterday but some family stuff got in the way, but here it is now! I'm eager to get your feedback on it! Chapter title is an incredibly beautiful song by Muse.

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**Chapter Eight****: Endlessly**

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Have you ever experienced one of those days? A day when all you want to do is forget everything that's happened to you, everything that's _happening_ to you; numb the pain. But yet everything is so clear and vivid, you could recount the story years later, much to your own embarrassment.

I mean, the night wasn't a total loss—it ended completely different from how I expected it to, but still. It was just mortifying and painful on so many levels. Let's just say that I've learned my lesson.

It all started Saturday night. It was a couple of days before Valentines' Day, and so there was this massive Valentine's Day party planned at Ralph's house. I hadn't wanted to go—to be honest, the last holiday I felt like celebrating was Valentine's Day. Love was for suckers and losers. Was I a little bitter? Maybe. But Emily had begged me to go; saying that this was the party of the year… or at the very least the month. Of course I caved; I was in love so naturally I was a sucker like the rest of them.

The most sizeable problem would not be the bitter taste in my mouth; that I could forget about with a smile. It would be the attendance of Derek, with his precious girlfriend Sally. To be honest, I was surprised they'd lasted this long. A couple of months ago outside Smelly Nelly's I'd witnessed a massive fight largely about… well… _me_, but it hadn't seemed to change things the way I expected. Derek and Sally were still together. Oh joy of joys.

For the first hour I'd been doing a pretty good job of avoiding Derek and Sally; ducking behind people whenever they came near; walking into other conversations in order to avoid speaking with them; and just plain turning around and walking in the other direction if it came down to it. Emily wasn't suspicious; it was normal for me to try to avoid Derek—I had it down to a science. But by the time the second hour approached, she was getting a little weary.

"Hey Case, let's go talk to Derek and Sally," she suggested. "They're right over there," she gestured over to the couple and I reluctantly glanced over. Objectively speaking, they did not look very happy. Both standing in silence, expressions of boredom etched across their faces, their arms crossed defensively over their chests. Very bad body language.

"They look miserable!" I pointed out, feeling a little bit sorry for them. But just a little.

"Exactly, which is why we should go say hi," Emily insisted.

I twisted my mouth in thought. "Nah, you go ahead. I'll get another drink of punch."

"Casey, you know there's alcohol in there right?" Emily asked, cocking an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really?!" I was shocked. "Are you sure? It's pink! And it tastes like raspberry juice and 7-up! I taste nothing even remotely alcoholic."

"Well they do a good job of covering it up then, cause I'm sure of it," Emily replied. "I saw Ralph pour some vodka in there."

I shivered in disgust and placed my half-empty cup on a spare inch of the coffee table. "Ooh a coaster!" I reached for one, placing my cup on top of it. "Why aren't people using them?"

"Since you're not getting anything else to drink, come talk to Derek and Sally with me," Emily offered, pulling on my arm.

"Thanks but no thanks, Em," I shrugged her off with a frown. "I'm not in the mood to deal with Sal—I mean, him tonight."

"Okay," she shrugged.

"Tell them I said hi!" I called over after her, but reconsidered afterwards. Was that a good idea? I didn't want to start a catfight in the middle of the party. Sighing, I made my way over to an empty chair and sat down, looking around the living room. Couples were dancing in a cleared-off section, grinding to some rap. Chancing a glance over at Derek and Sally, I spotted Emily chatting animatedly with Sally about something, but no Derek. Where'd he go?

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and before I even turned my head, I knew. "Why do you always do that?" I asked him.

"Do what?" Derek sat down on one of the arms of the chair.

"Disappear and then come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder. It's spooky. Stalker," I shot at him, offering a slight smile.

"Why aren't you dancing?" he asked me. "You love this stuff."

I shrugged. "No one's asked me. Besides," I added. "This is a Valentines' Day Party and it seems like it's mostly couples. I'm the odd girl out. Again."

"Well we can't have that." He slid off the chair and offered a hand to me. "Dance?"

"You want to dance with me in the middle of a party?" I stated in disbelief. "Have you been trying out the punch Derek? First of all, won't this ruin your rep? Second, won't people be suspicious?"

"Nah, you're not too lame, and as for suspicions, I doubt it. It just looks like I saw my poor step-sister sitting all alone and decided to take pity on her and ask for a dance."

"Well then," I gave him a fake smile, my eyes narrowed angrily. "No thanks."

"Come on, Case," he insisted. "I don't care what the reason is, just dance with me!"

"I don't want a pity dance," I shrugged stubbornly.

"Do it for me," he pleaded. "You still owe me a dance, remember?"

Damn it.

"A slow dance!" I exclaimed. "Not a fast one."

"Don't worry," he grinned. "I won't dance too close."

I raised an eyebrow. "If I dance with you, will you leave me alone the rest of the night?"

"Promise," he reached out for my hand again, and this time I let myself be escorted to the dance floor. Looking around nervously at all the other couples, I wondered if people noticed us. _Psst, look, it's Derek dancing with his step-sister!_

But no one paid any attention to us, and as I gazed into Derek's eyes, a slow lazy smile spreading across his face, I couldn't help but match it.

Just as we began to move to the music, it started to fade. The song was over. Another slower one came on instead. Couples around us came together, holding each other tight as they swayed to the melody.

Derek glanced at me, eyebrows raised in permission. _'May I sweep you off your feet?' _his expression seemed to say.

Yes, you may.

He placed his hands on my waist as I reached my arms up around his neck, and we moved back and forth to the music, careful to keep a few inches of distance between us.

I could feel the heat from his hands against my satin shirt, as he visibly swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing.

"We can dance closer, you know," he said, his voice deep and thick with some kind of nervousness I'd never witnessed in Derek. He cleared his throat quickly. "If you want," he added.

I nodded a yes and that was his signal; he pushed his palms against me then, bringing me closer to him, as I placed my chin on his shoulder, relaxing against his familiar warmth; smelling his familiar Derek scent. It was home. I watched other couples dancing around us, smiling at each other, cuddling close. It was comfortable for them too. They were in love—did this mean that Derek and I were in love?

Suddenly a familiar blonde entered my line of vision. She threw Derek and I a disgusted glance and exited out the backdoor onto the patio with a slam.

"Sally," I whispered out loud.

"Huh?" he asked, withdrawing from my arms slightly in confusion.

"She left," I said, blinking, desperately trying to return from the dazed state I was in. "Out the back door. She looked angry."

We glanced around for Emily, who was conversing with Ralph and Tinker. "Hey Em," I called as I quickly approached her. "Where'd Sally go?"

"Oh, I don't know… outside I think?" she offered. "She was pretty pissed that you two were dancing together. Even though I told her she didn't have anything to worry about. You guys can't stand each other," she laughed.

"Derek was just trying to be nice, right D?" Sam cut in.

"Uh, right. Nice. I better go after her," he winced and left quickly, heading for the back door.

"Speaking of going, I gotta go… to the bathroom that is," I laughed awkwardly and fast-walked in the direction of the back door as well. Leaning against the side of the screen door, I smiled stiffly at the people around me and strained to hear what was going on between Derek and Sally.

"Sally, please. What's wrong? I was just dancing with her, I didn't even do anything!"

"Have you slept with her?" she asked quickly.

My eyes widened, and I peeked around the side of the door to watch. Sally was standing in the middle of the empty yard, her arms crossed over her chest with her back to Derek as he gestured wildly as he spoke. "Of course not! I wouldn't do that. Okay, Sally, look at me." He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around. "I'm not the nicest guy in the world, I'll give you that. But I'm not… I have _not_ cheated on you."

"You haven't?" she asked, her voice softening slightly. "Tell me the truth, have you kissed her?" Derek rubbed her arms soothingly, looking straight into her eyes.

"No," he said with so much sincerity and certainty that Casey began to feel tears starting to form. She blinked quickly to get rid of them.

"But what about when you—"

"Sally, we've been over this before. That was an honest mistake. I don't… I haven't with her. And I won't. She's my _step-sister_."

That was like a punch in my stomach. I clutched my side, my face twisting up in pain and held-back tears.

"But… but I see the way she looks at you, Derek. And the way you were dancing with her tonight?"

"I was just doing her a favour. She was all alone. I felt bad for her… she is my step-sister, after all. She doesn't have a lot of friends, you know? And maybe she does look at me in a certain way… maybe she has a crush on me, I'm not sure. But don't blame me for how she feels. I can't help that."

I knew that it was all a lie; he was just saying this to Sally to make her feel better. What was the alternative? Tell the truth, and then have everyone freak out and put so much pressure on us and our tentative feelings? Derek was doing what he had to do to protect us.

But this reasoning, no matter how solid and logical it was, didn't take away the pit of hurt in my stomach, gnawing away at my insides.

Sally nodded in response then, grabbing Derek and hugging him tightly. Pulling back she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him deeply, running her fingers through his hair.

I felt sick. Turning away, I headed straight for the kitchen.

"Casey?" Emily called after me as I passed her, without a word. "You don't look so good. What's wrong?"

She followed me as I came across the kitchen table. Grabbing a cup of the mystery punch, I took a big gulp; and then continued drinking it down like I had just finished a 10 km run. I slammed down the empty cup with a satisfied gasp. Grabbing another cup of punch, I turned to Emily with a smile. "Isn't this punch great, Em?"

"Uh… sure. Casey, do you really think it's a good idea to down it like that? You remember what's in it right?"

"Uh huh," I nodded, as I licked my sticky lips. "Sweet numbness."

……………………

A couple of hours later and I was _really_ feeling it. Feeling fantastically amazing that is! The punch was yummy, the people were a lot friendlier and I was having the time of my life! I was a party animal. So what if I hadn't seen Derek the entire time? So what if he'd spent most of the past _two hours _outside with Sally 'talking'? I didn't need that kid anyway.

"Hey Em! Psst, Emily!" I waved her over and Emily approached, an awkward smile on her face.

"Yes Casey?" she asked.

"Have you _tried_ the punch?!" I exclaimed, taking a large sip of cup number… something or other in my hand.

"Yes Casey," she sighed.

"Em, you wanna know something?" I asked, stretching my free arm around her shoulders.

"Uh, sure?"

"You're my best friend," I grinned at her. "And I love you."

"Oh… um, thanks Casey," Emily laughed nervously, ducking under my arm. "You too. I'm going to be right back okay?"

"Sure," I grinned. I turned to Ralphie and Sam. "Sup," I nodded at them.

"Hey Casey," Ralph grinned at me, in a somewhat comical manner.

"Casey, you feeling okay?" Sam asked in concern. "How many cups of punch have you had?"

"Oh, I lost track sometime after twelve-teen," I giggled.

Ralph laughed along with me. "I like her," he said to Sam, as he pointed in my direction.

"Hey guys! Remember that one time when I played in D-Rock! Good times right? Am I right?!"

"Sure, Casey," Sam agreed with an awkward smile. "That was… cool."

"And… and remember the time you guys threw a whole tray of sugar-packs at that nerdy guitar player guy at the open mic night?! Remember guys? Remember?!" I threw back my head and laughed.

"Ha, that was awesome," Ralph grinned.

"Ooh! And Sam, remember when Derek didn't want us to date cause of a stupid male code and you guys were wrestling? How stupid was that?! I don't think there even _is_ a male code! I bet he was just jealous." I giggled.

Sam turned to Ralph and raised an eyebrow. "Sure, I remember that."

"Hey!" Ralphie exclaimed. "Casey, remember when Derek was depressed and we all came over for a game of spin the bottle? And you and I totally kissed!" he finished off enthusiastically, looking around for acknowledgement.

"Oh," I grimaced. "Yeah."

"She's right over there," Emily said, pointing at me.

"Here I am!" I announced happily. My smile dropped when I saw who Emily was speaking to. "Oh. You. Ew, no yucky step-siblings at parties, puh-leeze. It totally ruins my buzz."

"Please stop her," Emily sighed, pushing Derek in my direction.

"Casey," he said calmly, approaching me slowly. His eyebrows, as well as his hands were raised in caution, an expression of worry mixed with amusement on his face. "I'm going to take you home now, okay?"

"No!" I snapped. "I'm having fun! You were having bushels and bunches of fun outside," I recounted sarcastically. "And now it's my turn. So go run off with your petite amie…hah," I laughed to myself. "That's French for girlfriend. I'm so bilingual." Derek continued his slow approach as I chattered on to myself. "Huh… kind of weird don't you think?" I remarked to Ralph. "Petite amie… it literally means 'little friend', but what if you're not dating someone little? What if you're dating a basketball player? Do you call him 'grande amie' then?" Complete silence. I looked around at everyone in confusion. "What? Don't you people speak French? This is Canada for goodness sakes!" I turned to Emily. "This _is_ Canada right?" Suddenly I felt strong arms encircle me. "Hey!" I struggled. "Let go, Derek! You're not the boss of me!"

"No can do, sis," Derek smirked as he shuffled along towards the front door, with his arms around me, pushing me along.

"You are _so_ lame," I rolled my eyes. "Bye party people!" I called over my shoulder. "Until next time! Peace in!"

"That's 'peace out'," Derek remarked under his breath to me.

"Whatever."

…………………………………

Ten minutes later, I was lying in the backseat of the Prince; dizzy and completely incapable of forming entire coherent thoughts. I hadn't said a word to Derek since he gently pushed me into his car with a sigh. I'd said a very loud "You suck," but since then, nothing. I didn't even know what to say to him. A part of me wanted to yell at him, and a larger part just wanted to cuddle with him and have him whisper in my ear how special I was to him. I sighed happily. Oh yeah, I could go for that.

"Feeling sick yet, rookie?" Derek asked from the front seat.

I sat up quickly, and then feeling queasy, thought better of it. "I'm not a rookie. I'm a natural," I said matter-of-factly with a yawn.

"But this is your first time drinking right?"

"No," I sniffed. "I had a glass of wine at my second cousin's wedding two years ago."

"Oh wow, forgive me," he replied sarcastically. "I had no idea you were such an experienced woman of the world."

"Whatever," I snapped. "This is all your fault anyways."

He wasn't fazed. "It usually is with you," he replied. "What'd I do this time?"

"Many things," I informed him. "Starting with ignoring me all night for _Saaally_," I drew out her name mockingly.

"Hey, I did _not_ ignore you," he insisted. "Besides, you ignored me first."

"I did not… okay, I did at first cause it was awkward!"

"Uh, yeah and that's why I ignored you later."

"Liar," I hissed. "You were comforting your petite amie."

He paused, and I could see him arch an eyebrow in the rear-view mirror. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," I shrugged, and grabbed my purse, using it as a pillow. "But, it's okay. I'm over it. That's my new motto. Over it."

"You know none of that was true, right?" he asked calmly.

"Y'know, _D_, I don't really know what I know anymore."

"_Casey_," he said in a warning tone, almost as if he was scolding a petulant child.

"_Derek_," I replied, mocking him in a lower voice.

He sighed deeply, and steered the car into the driveway. We were home. "Shh," he hushed, as he came around to the backdoor, opening it to let me out. "We have to be quiet. We can't let Dad and Nora see you like this."

"I'm surprised you even care," I replied sarcastically as he helped me out of the car.

"Case, come on. Don't be…" he paused, as I fell to my knees, throwing up suddenly in the bushes.

………………

"You held my hair," I said softly as he tucked me in, pulling the comforter up around my neck. "You rubbed my back." He smiled kindly then, smoothing my hair back with the palm of his hand, gently rubbing my temple with his thumb. "I'm sorry I went all crazy crazed super crazy Casey on you," I whispered. My thoughts still weren't clear and I wasn't very articulate, to say the least.

"It's fine, Casey," he replied quietly. "I'm the one who hasn't been treating you right. Or, well, anyone really…" his brow furrowed.

"Getting a conscience, Venturi?" I asked.

He smirked. "Not a chance," then he paused. "Well… maybe, just a small one," he admitted. "Stranger things have happened right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Like you and me… who would have thought."

"Yeah," he replied and then made his way to the door. "Well… goodnight."

"Wait," I said quickly. "Where are you going? We always sleep together. Well… not like that, I mean," I laughed. "Not sexually. But like, in the same bed, you know?"

He grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, I know. I was there, remember?"

"Come here," I beckoned him over. "No, really. Please?"

He sighed and reluctantly walked over, sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. "What's up?" he asked.

"Sleep here?" I extended my bottom lip into a pout. "Please? I'll feel so lonely without you." I reached for his hand and held it in between both of mine.

"I thought you were mad at me," he reminded me. "Not mad anymore?"

"I don't know if I'm mad or not. I'll figure it out later. Too much thinking. Maybe mad's not the right word. Maybe more… concerned." I smiled up at him. "But I'm not mad now."

"No?" he raised his eyebrows as his thumb traced lines in the palm of my hand, my heart fluttering in response. "What are you now then?"

"Tired," I whispered. "And happy. Well, kind of. And confused. And," I paused, looking into his warm familiar eyes. "And many other things."

"Oh really?" with his other hand he reached up and smoothed back my hair again, brushing through it with his fingers.

"What are you thinking right now?" I asked him, almost without thinking. I couldn't really form thoughts; everything was so muddy, I could only say whatever came into my head—no contemplating involved. It was different. It was kind of scary and weird, but almost… freeing in a way.

"I'm thinking," he mumbled, his voice low and gravelly. "I'm thinking that you're the most important person in my life," he said with so much sincerity, I felt my insides liquefying. "And I wouldn't want you to feel like I'm putting someone before you, whether that's true or not. I want you to realize _how_ special you are to me," he insisted, squeezing my hand in his. "And I don't think you do."

"Well," I said quietly, desperately fighting to stay awake, but failing. I was getting sleepy. "Thanks for telling me."

"What are _you_ thinking?"

"You don't want to know," I whispered, my eyelids growing heavy.

"Sure I do," he insisted with a grin. "Tell me."

"No… I… I can't." I yawned. "Sorry. Maybe later?"

He sighed heavily, still smiling as he stood up. "Okay. I'm going to go brush my teeth. I'll be right back." He turned and walked towards the door, and I nodded though he couldn't see me in the semi-darkness.

"Derek?" I called, half-awake.

"What, Case?" he asked, turning around.

"I love you," I said softly, and drifted off to sleep.

………………………

The hours following, I drifted from unconscious to semi-concious. I only remember bits and pieces, because I only managed to _witness_ bits and pieces but this is what I caught;

Derek pacing around my room, speaking softly into his cell phone. "Sally?" he said. "I'm really sorry I ditched you at the party, but Casey needed me. Can you call me when you get this message? Or in the morning, I guess. We have to meet tomorrow. I need… we need to talk." Then I drifted back to sleep.

Another time, I felt Derek's warm lips press against my forehead. My eyes fluttered open.

"Derek?" I whispered groggily.

"Shh, Case, go back to sleep," he replied softly. I fell asleep almost instantly, to the comforting sensation of Derek stroking my hair.

The last time I woke up for a moment, it was dawn and Derek was sitting on the bed, a box across from him, as he scribbled something in a notebook. "What should I say to her?" he mumbled to himself. "Should I tell her 'I'm into my stepsister'? No, she'll be pissed and tell the world. I guess I'll just have to dump her the normal Venturi way, though it's a shame. She was a nice girl."

That was the last thing I witnessed, before I drifted off into a deep sleep. It's unsurprising, really, that every moment featured Derek. He was becoming the center of my world. Ah, who was I kidding? He always had been.

………………

**Next chapter:** It's Valentine's Day… perfect for Casey and Derek to finally share their first kiss, right? Wrong. After her little adventure in alcohol, Casey's sick with a flu. Kissing is out of the question. What horrible timing. But will Casey be able to stew in her own misery? Not when she's dealing with Derek Venturi. The day might not be a total loss afterall.

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A/N: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it! Was a bit long, but you guys like long chapters! Right?! The next chapter should be pretty fluffy so I'm hoping you guys will enjoy it. Savour it all now because soon there will be more angst! Bwahaha. Reviews are very much loved, so please review and make my day. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter Nine: Always for You

**Delicate**

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A/N: Sorry it took me a little longer than usual to update, but I was babysitting my cousin at her family's house for a few days and I had no internet access! Updated as soon as possible though. I really hope you guys like the chapter… I don't know if any of it is extremely necessary or if it really furthers the plot of the story, but I just wanted a nice fluffy chapter with some Derek-Casey interaction. The song used in the chapter, which is also the chapter title is '_Always for you_' and it is by the Album Leaf. The reason why I used these lyrics instead of making some up of my own, is because I completely suck at writing lyrics. So I stole them. But I'm still giving the band credit! Lol. Reviews are my favourite things on the planet, so please show me you're enjoying what I do by reviewing. I'll update soon! Thanks so much for reading!

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**Chapter Nine: Always for You**

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While I'm not going to be gender-specific and say that all women are romantic at heart, I'd definitely say that this stereotype applies to me. I'm not ashamed of it. I appreciate a gentleman who will hold open a door for me, or make an effort to show me a good time. I love roses, and teddy bears and heart-shaped balloons. I also love poetry—though that art can get massacred pretty fast. The point is; if you make an effort to show the one you care about that, well, _you care_ then it just brings the two of you closer together. And all people want in this world is to find someone else to care for. Even love.

Now, it's probably pretty obvious who that someone was for me. Life's circumstances had also made it possible that we were both single and interested in each other on this most romantic of days. However, cruel irony had also made celebration of my favourite holiday impossible. I was sick with a flu.

Granted, it was my own fault. I was the one who'd determined that it was a fantastic idea to get totally wasted, for the first time in my life (Derek was right; I _am_ a rookie) two days before my favourite day of the year. I guess my immune system wasn't strong enough to take it, because instead of suffering from a simple hangover the next day, I was instead inflicted with some kind of bug that would just _not go away_. My resident hangover expert (and hopeful Valentine) examined me and determined that my ailment was not a simple head-ache/stomach-ache/pride-ache combination, but instead an actual illness. _Great._

So here I was, the first time in my life I had an actual Valentine worth celebrating with, and I was sick as a dog. Karma's cruel and unforgiving.

"So," Derek said as he burst into my room Saturday night. "Everyone's asleep. I think we should talk… about stuff."

I raised an eyebrow. "You… _want_ to talk?" I croaked, my throat raspy and sore.

Derek glanced around the room unsurely. "Uh… yeah?" he swung the door closed behind him.

"It's just, I'm surprised." I said honestly. "Who's the girl in this relationship again?"

He paused, scratching his head in uncomfortable silence.

"Uh…" I continued awkwardly. "I didn't mean… not that this _is_ a relationship. I meant friendship… companionship… or… something…?"

"I know," he replied with an easy grin, instantly calming my nerves. "And I resent the girl comment. Do you want me to just leave so you can over-think things on your own? Cause I can you know," he turned towards the door in slow-motion.

"No, no, no!" I stopped him with a slight laugh that turned into a cough. "I'm just bugging you. I think it's great that you want to talk; it's very mature of you. You're always surprising me, Derek."

"I am a puzzle, aren't I?" he smirked happily, as he sat down on the edge of my bed. "So," he paused and raised a hand to feel my forehead. "How you feeling rookie?"

"Would you stop calling me that?!" I snapped, swatting his hand away. "_It only makes me grumpy_," I said in a sing-song voice.

"_You're always grumpy_," he sang in response.

I hmph-ed, shifting around in bed. "I can't get comfy," I groused.

"_You're only proving my point_," he sang again.

I glared wordlessly in response; my eyes practically searing holes through his skin with pure anger. Oh yeah, take that Venturi.

With a shake of his head, he came around to the left side of the bed and sat down on top of the comforter, leaning his head against the wall. "C'mere," he sighed, drawing me closer. I laid my head down on his knee as he gently pulled his fingers through my hair, massaging my head.

I whimpered. "Too sick," I said pathetically.

"I want to say that I told you so, but I won't," Derek teased.

"Don't go there, Venturi," I snapped.

"I'm sorry you're sick, Case," he said kindly.

"Finally, some sympathy."

"I'm also sorry that I made you sick; since, you know, I'm to blame for everything."

"Absolutely everything," I said softly, hugging his knee tighter.

His hands drifted down to my back, painting soft shapes with the very tips of his fingers, relaxing me instantly. "So," he said lightly, after about a moment of comfortable silence. "I did it."

"Did what?" I asked dazedly, fixated on the feeling of his fingers pressing so lightly against me.

"I broke up with Sally," he whispered, almost as if it was a secret, or something he wasn't quite sure he should tell me.

"Oh," I said softly, not knowing really what else to say. I repeated myself, stalling for time. "Oh…" I paused and again spoke in monosyllables. "Why?"

"Because," he said simply, and hesitated, seemingly not knowing the answer himself. "I don't know…" he sighed quietly. "It just felt right, I guess."

"But why last night?" I felt a familiar knot tie up in my stomach. I thought I knew the answer, but I wanted him to say it. I wanted to hear it coming from his voice.

"Because…" he said again, but this time he continued quickly. "Because she's a nice girl and stuff, but I… I guess I just need to know what could happen with _us_, you know?" He said 'us' so softly that I could barely hear him, but instantly I felt a warmth of happiness run through my body. He'd acknowledged that there was an 'us'.

Silence fell over us again, and although it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, it was certainly heavy, as expectations and questions of what I would say in response travelled wordlessly between us. "Well… I'm glad you did," I said slowly. I meant it. But I was more than glad, more than happy… I couldn't think of a word to describe just what I _was_. We'd finally been given a chance to explore our fragile yet heated connection, and I was dying to see where it would go.

"I'm glad I did too," he whispered, smiling down at me as his hands drifted to my face, smoothing the skin of my cheeks down with the rough texture of his thumbs. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him at that very moment. Stupid flu. Stupid me. "I can't believe you have the flu," he groaned, his voice slightly deeper and rougher than usual. It was obvious that he wanted to kiss me too. I bit my chapped lip at the thought.

"So, let me guess," I said suddenly, reaching up to grab one of his hands, lacing his fingers with mine. "You're one of those guys that hates Valentine's Day and thinks it's a holiday created by Hallmark or other greeting card companies to convince sucker couples to spend a gross amount of money on each other for no viable reason, other than being suckers?"

He shrugged. "I guess…"

"So I guess it's probably good that I'll have the flu on Valentine's Day then, right? Since it's my favourite holiday, and I'd want to celebrate it somehow otherwise, but because making out is out of the question, along with going on an actual date… well then, there's no real point, is there?!" I admit, I was getting a little… overheated at the concept of skipping my favourite holiday. But I was hopped up on cold meds; I had an excuse.

"It's your favourite holiday?" he raised his eyebrows as a coy grin spread across his face. "That's so cu—"

I interrupted. "If you tell me I'm cute, so help me Venturi I'll—"

"Okay, okay. Not cute. Not cute at all. Scary actually." He winced as I smacked him in the chest.

"Ow, Casey. Watch the pecs."

I snorted. "Uh, huh. Sure." I sat up suddenly, not quite ready to let the holiday discussion die. "So," I said quickly. "Have you ever had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day before?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't remember."

I sighed, flopping back onto the mattress, as I pulled a pillow over my head. "Hopeless," I said, my voice muffled.

I heard Derek laugh, pulling the pillow up slightly to allow himself to burrow his head underneath it as well. "Aw, Case. Don't call yourself that. Get some confidence." I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow. "Ow!" he shot up, and I followed, giggling apologetically. He held his side, grimacing. "You're so violent! Are you always so violent to the people you love?"

I paused, wide-eyed, and I'm sure my mouth hung open in shock as well. Derek winced, as if he'd just made a major mistake. Oh my God. Throwing myself under the pillow again, I held it tightly around my head.

"Casey, come on!" he insisted. "I'm sorry, that just came out… I was just teasing!"

"I was _hoping_ we were going to pretend like that never happened!" I exclaimed as loudly as I could in my current state, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"I was," Derek sighed. "It just… slipped. I was kidding! I didn't mean it."

I was silent, the pillow still clasped tightly.

"Casey," Derek called. "Come on, don't be embarrassed. I know you didn't mean it like that… you meant it… as a person, or friend, right?"

I nodded underneath as the pillow bobbed. That wasn't the truth, but let him think it for now. It would make my life easier, and my embarrassment less.

"Well there you go!" he exclaimed. "So nothing to be embarrassed about. I… l…lo…." He sighed. "Lo…. Loveyouasafriendtoookay?" It all came out as one mashed-together word, and he was gasping for breath by the end of it. "_Whew_, that was hard to say."

Silence.

"_Casey_," he called my name in his sing-song voice. "Do you want me to tickle you?"

"No!"

"Too late!" he grabbed my sides, tickling along the side of my waist as I burst out laughing, trying to fight him off. This caused me to let go of my pillow shield, allowing for easy access to removal.

He pulled the pillow off my face and held it up over his head, leaning over to give me a kiss on the cheek. I gave him a dirty look, and sat up, my frown instantly dissolving into an angelic smile. "Derek?" I asked sweetly.

He raised a suspicious eyebrow, still holding my pillow over his head. "What?"

"You're so cute when you act all abrasive and completely disregard my feelings."

He paused, trying to hold back a smirk. "Really?" he asked, in false-seriousness.

"Uh huh," I nodded, sliding a bit closer. "Why do you think I like you? All that annoyance makes me hot."

"Hm," he nodded thoughtfully, playing along. "Makes sense. And 'De-_rek_!'" he imitated my voice, and I tried not to laugh. "Must be a mating call right?"

"Sure is," I said a slight laugh escaping. I batted my eyelashes, reaching upwards for the pillow. "Now, if you'll just hand me that pillow…" I snatched it away from him, smacking it lightly against his face. "Take that!"

"Ow, Casey! Again with the violence!" I continued hitting him with the pillow, dissolving into laughter, as he laid against the bed, simply taking it. "You're the dominating type, aren't you? OW!" I smacked him harder. "Stop it!"

"Tell me something I want to hear."

"What?!"

"Tell me something I want to hear and I'll stop."

"_Caseyyy_… shit, not so hard! You're the prettiest girl I know and your violence turns me on," he said quickly, shielding himself with his hands.

I stopped the hitting, smiling happily as I placed the pillow on my bed, laying on top of it again. "Oh, Derek. Finally, you admitted it."

"I let you do that, you know," he said with a smirk as he laid down beside me, resting his head against my shoulder.

"I know." I admitted. "And thanks."

"Anything for a pretty lady." He quoted me with a smirk. "Well…" he paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Almost anything…"

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Nah," he shrugged truthfully, lifting his arm up to wrap around my shoulders. "Only you."

……………………

The next morning, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or rather, fell, knocking my head against the dresser. Ouch. This was a bad sign of the day to come; I was sure of it.

Whimpering pathetically, I shakily raised myself up and plopped back onto my bed. I burrowed under the covers and prayed for a second wind of that Nyquil to catch on and render me unconscious.

Suddenly the door swung open and someone peeled back the covers from my face. It was Derek.

"Casey?" his brow was furrowed in confusion and concern. "I heard a bang. You okay?"

"Yeah, nothing like a good bruise to start off your favourite holiday. Oh, wait. You don't like Valentine's Day. Sorry, _I forgot_." Daggers. I was shooting daggers at him through my eyes.

He shook his head with a smirk and reached out to pat my hair. "I think the fall must have damaged your head, Case. No worries, I'm here to take care of you."

I raised a doubtful eyebrow. "I was just about to come to that. Why aren't you in school?"

Derek shrugged. "Went this morning, thought better of it and decided to skip the afternoon. _What?!_ Don't give me that look. I've skipped plenty of days, what's one more, right?"

"Derek, I'm not going to be responsible for you failing; now go back to school!"

"Make me," he smirked. "Oh wait! That's right. You can't. Now what kind of soup do you prefer? Chicken Noodle maybe? Mushroom? Tomato? You seem kinda like a tomato girl to me." He turned around and left, pausing only to shoot a grin in my direction.

"Alright Derek!" I called after him. "But don't come crawling to me if your future is ruined! And I like chicken noodle! Did you hear that Nurse Derek?"

"That's Doctor Derek, to you!"

…………………

Several hours, two bowls of soup, and three magazines later and I was beginning to go stir-crazy. This little act of ignoring or sniping at Derek was getting sort of old.

"Derek!" I called. "Can you come in here please?"

"Just a minute!" he yelled back. "I'm in the middle of a show. Wait till a commercial."

Sigh. Several minutes later and he was bounding up the stairs. "Okay, Case. You have three minutes before it starts again. What do you want?"

I scrunched my face up in confusion. "What are you watching?"

"Uh… nothing. Sports." He scratched his neck, glancing around the room.

"Liar. You're watching Dawson's Creek aren't you?" I smirked.

"No!"

"Admit it Derek!"

He sighed. "Oh fine. Reruns are on every day at 2:00. Laugh, see if I care."

I shrugged. "I'm not going to laugh."

"You know, you kind of remind me of Joey…"

"That's nice," I interrupted. "Isn't your show going to start any second?"

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed, and jogged impatiently on the spot. "Now what do you want, Case? Soup? Ice cream? Magazine? Puke bucket? What?!"

I wrinkled my nose. "Ew."

"_What do you want?!"_

"You."

He stopped running. "What?"

I grinned my most charming smile. "You. Your presence. I'm bored," I whined. "Entertain me."

"But Dawson, Joey, Pacey and Jen are all filming this documentary on Witch Island and it's actually haunted and they're trapped and… and…" It was his turn to whine.

I extended my bottom lip. "Please? For me?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What'll you give me?"

"Uh… a hug?" I smiled angelically.

He snorted. "I get those all the time. What else you got?"

I paused, thinking quickly. "A kiss?" I asked, a slow smile dawning across my face.

His eyebrows shot up suddenly. "Interesting, but yet an empty promise. You're sick and there's no way I'm catching whatever you have, Case."

"An I.O.U. then? Come on, Derek. It's Valentine's Day. And I'm lonely." I sighed sadly and lowered my eyes, hoping the guilt trip was working.

"Oh, fine," he grunted, shutting the door behind him. He jumped on the bed, laying down on his back as he drew me into his arms. I happily rested my head against his chest, wrapping my arms around his wirey yet firm torso.

"So," I said suddenly. "Why'd you decide to skip the afternoon?"

His chest shifted as he shrugged. "I skip a lot. Just so happens that you were home today."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you sure that's the real reason?"

"Okay…" he admitted. "Maybe you being sick had something to do with it. I… I wanted to take care of you." He paused. "And just be around you. I kind of want to be around you whenever I can, you know?" he sighed. "Is that weird?"

"No," I said truthfully. "That's nice. And I feel the same way." I looked up at his face then, unable to keep from smiling at his expression. "What?" I asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing," he said quietly. "It's just weird to think about, you know? When we didn't get along. I never thought that we'd be here. If someone would have told me a year ago that I'd be lying with Casey McDonald in her bed next Valentine's Day, I would have laughed at them."

I laughed lightly. "Yeah. I think I've always kind of had a crush on you, though."

He raised his eyebrows with a smirk. "Yeah? Interesting."

"Well, why did we fight so much?" I asked. "Only people you care about are able to get under your skin like that, you know?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "Makes sense."

"Mm," I sighed. "You're comfy. Mind if I use you as a human pillow and sleep?"

"Be my guest," he sighed a laugh and reached over, tucking my hair behind my ears so that it was out of my face.

"Whether you celebrate it or not," I mumbled, my face squished against his chest as I drifted to sleep. "You're still my Valentine."

…………………

"Casey… Casey…" a voice was calling my name. I opened my eyes, blinking twice. My vision was still blurry.

"Derek?"

"Huh? No. It's mom."

"Oh…" I blinked several more times, and sat up in bed. "Hi mom," I croaked.

"Aw, still sick huh?" she raised a hand to my forehead. "You're really warm."

Through squinty eyes, I searched around the room. No Derek to be found. He must have left at some point before everyone else came home. "Where's Derek?" I asked groggily.

"You must be out of it from the medicine," she said confusedly, rubbing my arm. "He's downstairs watching sports or something, I think. Did he do something to annoy you again?"

"No," I said, exaggerating a yawn as I laid back in bed. "No, didn't do anything. I'm just kind of…" I trailed off.

"I understand," she said, standing up. "I'll let you get some rest. There's a sandwich and some juice on your desk if you feel up to eating." She kissed my forehead, and left, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

"Sandwich and juice?" I whined, sitting up, eyeing the offending tray of food. "What _is_ this? I miss my soup and ginger ale."

Whimpering, I slowly lowered myself onto the bed again. So. Bored. I begun to make a pro-con list in my head. Pros to being sick; resting, attention from Derek, extra sleep. Cons; boring, no school, horrible feeling, no kissing Derek. Well, that one was easy.

Just as I was about to force myself to sit up and go surf the internet for the hundredth time that day, I heard something at the door. A square case with a note slid under the door, and as I struggled to get up to investigate, I heard footsteps.

"What's this?" I croaked out loud, picking up the case. It was clear, and there was a CD inside that had 'Casey's song' written on it in felt marker.

Curiously, I carried the case over to my computer, and sitting down on the chair, examined the note, attached with tape to the front.

'_Casey_,' the lazy scrawl read. '_I thought you might be bored, so here's something to occupy that crazy mind of yours. I wrote this for you. But don't tell D-Rock. They think it's for Sally, but it's always been for you. Happy Valentine's Day, Derek._'

With a small happy sigh, I unhooked the earphones from my ipod and instead connected them to the computer speakers. I slid the disc in, and the music played automatically. It was a melodic tune with a slight beat to it. I imagined Ralph playing the drums in the song, and smiled. He and Sam thought it was for Sally, but it was for me. She'd always been after him to write a love song for her, but he claimed that they were lame. I guess he'd made an exception this time. I let his deep but soft voice drift over me as I concentrated on the lyrics;

'_All the things I've tried to say_

_Were never easy to explain_

_They were always meant for you._

_And all the memories that were made_

_For years and years_

_I've chased this day._

_They were always for you,_

_Always for you._

_All the things I've tried to change_

_Were never easy to contain_

_They were always meant for you._

_And all the memories will never fade_

_For years and years_

_In my heart you'll stay._

_It was always for you,_

_Always for you._

_All the pieces that remain_

_They will build a place for us to stay._

_They were always meant for you._

_And all the chances that we take_

_For years and years_

_We'll have this place._

_They were always for you,_

_Always for you.'_

…………………

Later that night, I laid in my bed listening to 'Casey's song' on repeat on my ipod. I wondered, for probably the fourteenth time that night if everything he sang he actually meant, and if that song was really for me. But inside I knew, that he couldn't have written it for anyone else. I jiggled my feet to the beat of the song, unable to sit still. No one had ever done something so romantic for me; I didn't know how to take it. I was also sure that Derek had never even dreamt of doing something so romantic for someone else; so I wondered how he was taking it all. For a guy who had problems even saying the word 'feelings' he sure knew how to express them.

But did he love me? Did he believe in love now? I wasn't sure. He never used the word 'love' in the song, but he did use 'heart'. That had to count for something, right? Just as I considered how I could casually bring up such a question the door creaked open, sending a stream of light across the room.

"Mom?" I whispered, not wanting to take any chances.

"No. Better," Derek whispered back, as he gently shut the door. "It's me."

"Oh." I wasn't really sure what to say to him, as he walked around my bed, getting under the covers. What do you say to someone who writes a love song for you?

"Thank you," I found myself saying softly, as I turned on my side to face him.

He followed my lead, doing the same. "For what? Oh." I heard him swallow loudly. "The song. Yeah, no big deal. Hope you liked it."

"I loved it," I whispered, reaching out to take his hand. I simply hooked one of his fingers with mine.

"Are you listening to it right now?" he asked.

I nodded, feeling like I could be honest. "On repeat."

His face broke into a small smile. "Cool," he said simply.

"So the 'too cool for Valentine's Day' thing?" I asked curiously.

"Hey, you just assumed," he replied. "I never said I was too cool. I've been working on this thing for weeks."

I smiled, shaking my head. "Always full of surprises," I said quietly. "So I'm your Valentine then?" I asked directly.

"Only if I'm yours."

I nodded. "Deal."

We went silent as we gazed into each other's eyes, our index fingers connected.

Derek and I remained that way the rest of the night, silent and staring and completely comfortable. I listened to his song on repeat, searching his eyes for truth in what he sang, and I found it. Our eye contact was only broken when we drifted to sleep, our fingers still locked tight. I dreamt of his eyes, my song, and fifty more Valentine's Days just like this one.

…………………

**Next chapter:** The whole Venturi-McDonald clan goes on a trip to the Rocky Mountains in Jasper. Derek and Casey think that this could finally be their chance to explore their relationship away from the pressure of their every day lives. However, things don't exactly end up the way they expect…

…

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Sorry it was a little cheesy, especially the ending (okay, a lot cheesy) but a little fluff can't hurt anyone right? I like to mix my fluff with my angst. Flangst, if you will. I normally don't use songs in fics, or write song-fics because it's not really my style, but the idea behind the chapter called for it, so hopefully you enjoyed reading the lyrics. Reviews are so very loved and appreciated; and your feedback is most beloved as well.


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